[meow]

I hate Java because it's...obsolete

I'm not here to defend Java, I really don't like it that much either, but you should stop using words you clearly don't know the meaning of. Java is still one of the most popular programming languages in the world, if not the most popluar.

saying it's good because it works on every platform is like saying anal is nice because it works on both genders.

Idiotic analogy. Especially considering the fact that it's not technically "cross-platform".