[HypnoticMagician]

i see what you mean but its disgusting, seek professional help through therapy, it sounds like your insecure and evil at the same time - not judging just pointing out the obvious

Since I understood the root of all my suffering is my ego/separation/the notion of "other", I give up dark spirituality also known as left hand path. There is no way to become enlightened without killing the ego. That's like trying to take care of a person without feeling compassion for her.  Or trying to drive a car with the brakes on. I am no longer gonna abuse anyone. Once I understood the terrible ramifications of left hand path and the logic of oneness, there is no turning back.

if your saying you will stop doing this then good for you, why dont you put all the energy into a healthy/loving realtionship with a woman you "like" instead of an ugly woman, all i can see is that your insecure and to make yourself seem like your better, you go out and manipulate ""ugly women"" which are ugly to you

hope you understand that at one point in your life the guilt will come up and it will "kill" you from the inside knowing you was an evil person driven by your insecurites

I not that sinful at all. It is coming from my old traumas. I just wanted to apply what I want done to me when I was submissive. I fantasized a lot about a very beautiful lady recognizing my disfigured face and taking advantage of this visual attractiveness difference between us. Seducing me to serve her beauty, abusing me this way. Because it has been long since I discovered my dominant side, I just wanted to apply this too to an innocent, dumb looking woman to take all my frustrations on. I was simply convinced that life is brutal, the only way to reach a heavenly life fast is to kill your conscience, sacrifice supposedly sleeping empaths so you reach a fulfilling life more quickly. Very retarded reasoning, indeed.