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Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Printable Version

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+---- Thread: Dark humor/offensive joke thread (/Thread-Dark-humor-offensive-joke-thread)

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RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - mothered - 01-20-2017

(01-19-2017, 02:46 PM)simme Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 11:39 AM)mothered Wrote: This may be offense to some, and I apologize In advance If It Is.

What do you get when you cross Micheal Jackson & Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Spoiler:
Michael Warzenegger (Michael Was A Nigger)

Oh my god, this actually made me laugh.

I'm glad you found It funny.

I don't remember where I heard It or who It came from. I've known this joke for years and some find It funny, whilst others think It's quite silly.


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Mr.Kurd - 01-20-2017

(01-19-2017, 09:13 PM)Satan Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 07:47 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 06:59 PM)Pyxis Wrote: How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Beetle?

Spoiler:
One in the driver's seat, 3 in the passenger seat, and 6 million in the ashtray


A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving?

Spoiler:
The cop


How does a muslim shut a door?

Spoiler:
Islams it


How do you know a Jew is playing golf?

Spoiler:
He doesn't yell "FORE!" he yells "$3.99"

Ah I'm not with joking about religion, And I will point how muslims knocking doors:
KNOCKING AND RINGING Knock at the door, or ring the
doorbell in a pleasant way and not
louder than is necessary to make
your presence known. Do not knock
loudly and violently or ring the bell
continuously Remember that you are a visitor and not a thug raiding the
house and frightening its occupants.
Likewise, Al-Bukhari reported in al-
Adab al-Mufrad that the companions
of the Prophet used to knock on the
door of the Prophet with the tips of their fingers. This soft and gentle
knocking, or ringing, is appropriate
for those whose living quarters are
close to the door. For those living
further from the door, it is
appropriate to knock on their door, without banging, or ring the bell loud
enough to enable them to hear it. Leave adequate time between two
knocks or rings. This will enable
those performing ablution, praying,
or eating to finish without making
them rush. Some scholars estimate
this interval to be that of the praying time of four rakaats. Keep in mind
that a person may have just started
the prayers before you rang the
doorbell. After three knocks or intermittent
rings, you may feel that the person
you came to see is busy, otherwise
he or she would have answered you.
If this is the case, then leave as
mentioned in Al-Bukhari and Muslim. While waiting for permission do not
stand in front of the door. Instead,
stand to the right or to the left. The
Messenger of Allah upon coming to
someone’s door avoided facing the
door directly. Instead, he would stand to the right or the left of the door.

Your religion seriously has rules about knocking on doors?

(01-20-2017, 01:40 AM)Pyxis Wrote: @Mr.Kurd the joke is "Islams it" sounds like "He slams it" but with an accent

and there are literally rules for knocking on doors in Islam? Holy crap

Yeah really, Islam is complete religion so it's normal having a rules for all things Smile .


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Mr.Kurd - 01-20-2017

(01-19-2017, 10:19 PM)Customer Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 06:35 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 05:58 PM)Customer Wrote: This man is way funnier than all of your measly jokes.

Mm Sad You broke my heart, my jokes are measly?
But I tired to translate and writing it by english.
Man maybe you didn't understand my perfect english, it's advance for you Smile .

No, I was saying you are funnier than their jokes.

Hhhh np at all man we are two brothers Smile . I will come to your house and we will eat pizza a day Smile .


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Blink - 01-21-2017

(01-19-2017, 11:19 AM)Mr.Kurd Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 07:09 AM)Ender Wrote:
(01-13-2017, 06:11 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote: I will start:
Ahol said he is blind!! so peoples said:
Ahol how we know you are blind?!
Ahol said :
Are you see that tree?!
they said: Yeah we see!.
Ahol said: I don't see it Smile .
Hhhhhhh

I'm either not getting it, or it's not funny.



From Reddit:
Spoiler:
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.


Eh, dark enough, I guess it's good enough too.

Thank for raping me, this was a joke I will try to explain it to you.
Ahol is a man, a day he said I'm blind, but he isn't.
Ppls said How we know you are blind, he said do you see that tree (he point to the tree, so he isn't blind)?
They said yeah we see, he said I don't see so I'm blind.
I hope you understand me Smile.

Oh... OK, it's not funny.


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Customer - 01-21-2017

(01-20-2017, 02:31 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 10:19 PM)Customer Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 06:35 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote: Mm Sad You broke my heart, my jokes are measly?
But I tired to translate and writing it by english.
Man maybe you didn't understand my perfect english, it's advance for you Smile .

No, I was saying you are funnier than their jokes.

Hhhh np at all man we are two brothers Smile . I will come to your house and we will eat pizza a day Smile .

Brothers 5ever. Love you Baki #2 Wink


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Skryptec - 01-21-2017

What is a turk on top of a garbage truck?
Spoiler:
Prince Carnaval


Spoiler: Explaination
In my country, we have something called carnaval. It's like a holiday where you party and like put on customes and everything... Prince Carnival is always on some big truck thing, the truck has been customized and stuff like that.



RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - mothered - 01-21-2017

Okay, I have another one.

How do you make a Hormone?

Spoiler:
Don't pay the b*tch.


Spoiler:
The question reads: How do you make a Whore Moan?



RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Mr.Kurd - 01-21-2017

(01-21-2017, 04:55 AM)Customer Wrote:
(01-20-2017, 02:31 PM)Mr.Kurd Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 10:19 PM)Customer Wrote: No, I was saying you are funnier than their jokes.

Hhhh np at all man we are two brothers Smile . I will come to your house and we will eat pizza a day Smile .

Brothers 5ever. Love you Baki #2 Wink
4ever
Clap man Smile


RE: Dark humor/offensive joke thread - Aeolian - 01-30-2017

Whats the worst part about fucking twenty six year olds?
Spoiler:
There's twenty of them.