The One 05-29-2013, 07:51 AM
#1
I feel like this is going to be more of a personal thread so I might wind up renaming this to something else, but here it goes.
Honestly, I hate how emotions feel so much. The last couple days I've felt like such shit. I've had my times where I actually feel alright, but I just feel awful. I feel sadness, loneliness, submissive, weak, bored, and so much more. I just don't really know what to do with this girl I was with either. So much shit has happened and I am very genuine and honest with her. Honestly, I feel it's so hard to come across someone that will fulfill your every whim and needs and will completely stand by you through everything.
Now I was seeing this girl for the last 2 years on and off and we really hit it off and things were splendid. I was coming off another previous relationship with my first actually and was very heart-breaking for me. I thought that last one was the one, but after meeting this girl I was convinced that I had been wronged in the beginning. Since I was an avid pot smoker at the time, she was as well and cute things were very present between us. Small things like making the bed before we laid on it and playing video games with each other and talking to each other about our indifferences. I really thought I had it made with her. However, the fact that jealousy became a huge factor and family problems were an almost weekly occurrence was a huge breaker. We went on and off the whole 2 years, seeing different people inbetween but always coming back to each other stronger than ever. The last time though, we really took it slow and built upon it and was the best thing ever. Then again, it has fallen apart and this is where I stand today.
I want a girl that does appreciate me and I think we all do. We want that girl that is going to have those silly talks with us and enjoy hobbies and activities with us. Someone that will make it to the dumbest of dumb occasions, but mean something to you. Someone that fits in to your daily agenda and will get to know your friends. You must also return the favor and you're always eager to do so. The sex is great, food is good, fights are a minimum and are always talked through and never escalated.
I honestly may be talking out of my ass and could just be going through a rough time, but I think I want to just be happy with someone and be proud of it. I will admit I still smoke pot on a weekly basis and it's mainly a social occurrence with friends, I'm still not an idiot and think irrationally. I feel that ingenuity is something that has been lost and not appreciated as the generations have gone on due to social media and networking since they set a symbol and standard for others instead of allowing everyone to be whom they want and not discriminate against others. I don't want to get off topic into greed and selfishness, but it ties into such issues as this.
I have been seeing me ex-girlfriends recently only because they've tried to offer me comfort since my father had recently passed away (as many of you know). My first real girlfriend has started becoming uncomfortably clingy and I know she's like that in a sense and she usually doesn't bother me with it, but now her whole character changed and seems different. She says sorry way too much and I used to get in trouble with I did something with that to her, but I didn't do it as bad as this. I feel like she's over-realized how great I was to her after all the crap-sacks she's dated over the years and I told her from the beginning to be careful. My other ex-girlfriends just continue to be friends with me and haven't really made much of a difference in how I feel, but this feeling needs to go.
I hope the one finds me soon and I hope to bear all loving arms and well-being to her, her family, and our family. I don't know who that woman will be and I hope she knows that the future bestows many great things will come.
I'm sorry DZ for the crazy long thread, but I needed a place to rant for now and maybe something to look back on for future purpose and in seeing other people's reactions. I hope everyone had a great Memorial Weekend and hope you're all having a good day.
Honestly, I hate how emotions feel so much. The last couple days I've felt like such shit. I've had my times where I actually feel alright, but I just feel awful. I feel sadness, loneliness, submissive, weak, bored, and so much more. I just don't really know what to do with this girl I was with either. So much shit has happened and I am very genuine and honest with her. Honestly, I feel it's so hard to come across someone that will fulfill your every whim and needs and will completely stand by you through everything.
Now I was seeing this girl for the last 2 years on and off and we really hit it off and things were splendid. I was coming off another previous relationship with my first actually and was very heart-breaking for me. I thought that last one was the one, but after meeting this girl I was convinced that I had been wronged in the beginning. Since I was an avid pot smoker at the time, she was as well and cute things were very present between us. Small things like making the bed before we laid on it and playing video games with each other and talking to each other about our indifferences. I really thought I had it made with her. However, the fact that jealousy became a huge factor and family problems were an almost weekly occurrence was a huge breaker. We went on and off the whole 2 years, seeing different people inbetween but always coming back to each other stronger than ever. The last time though, we really took it slow and built upon it and was the best thing ever. Then again, it has fallen apart and this is where I stand today.
I want a girl that does appreciate me and I think we all do. We want that girl that is going to have those silly talks with us and enjoy hobbies and activities with us. Someone that will make it to the dumbest of dumb occasions, but mean something to you. Someone that fits in to your daily agenda and will get to know your friends. You must also return the favor and you're always eager to do so. The sex is great, food is good, fights are a minimum and are always talked through and never escalated.
I honestly may be talking out of my ass and could just be going through a rough time, but I think I want to just be happy with someone and be proud of it. I will admit I still smoke pot on a weekly basis and it's mainly a social occurrence with friends, I'm still not an idiot and think irrationally. I feel that ingenuity is something that has been lost and not appreciated as the generations have gone on due to social media and networking since they set a symbol and standard for others instead of allowing everyone to be whom they want and not discriminate against others. I don't want to get off topic into greed and selfishness, but it ties into such issues as this.
I have been seeing me ex-girlfriends recently only because they've tried to offer me comfort since my father had recently passed away (as many of you know). My first real girlfriend has started becoming uncomfortably clingy and I know she's like that in a sense and she usually doesn't bother me with it, but now her whole character changed and seems different. She says sorry way too much and I used to get in trouble with I did something with that to her, but I didn't do it as bad as this. I feel like she's over-realized how great I was to her after all the crap-sacks she's dated over the years and I told her from the beginning to be careful. My other ex-girlfriends just continue to be friends with me and haven't really made much of a difference in how I feel, but this feeling needs to go.
I hope the one finds me soon and I hope to bear all loving arms and well-being to her, her family, and our family. I don't know who that woman will be and I hope she knows that the future bestows many great things will come.
I'm sorry DZ for the crazy long thread, but I needed a place to rant for now and maybe something to look back on for future purpose and in seeing other people's reactions. I hope everyone had a great Memorial Weekend and hope you're all having a good day.
![[+]](https://sinister.ly/images/modern/collapse_collapsed.png)
You'll find someone again soon enough.