[YP.]

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[Call-Me-V]

My friend got bored one day and invented some new hobby called

Blindfolded plane watching

Spoiler:

I can't see it taking off

[DrBlowFish]

Not really a joke, but Der Anarchist said this is Skype Chat today "Welcome to Anarchy Forums. Where we will have sex with your dead relatives and defile their corpses."

Read the chat history and you will get it.

[Bannedshee]

Not really a joke, but Der Anarchist said this is Skype Chat today "Welcome to Anarchy Forums. Where we will have sex with your dead relatives and defile their corpses."

Read the chat history and you will get it.

2 things,

1. Why would you post it if its not a joke?
2. Half of AF isn't even in the skype chat.


lul

[1nT0x!c@t3d]

how many jews can you fit in a car?

2 in the front 2 in the back 1000 in the ashtray.

[Cressi]

Why is six afraid of seven?

Spoiler:

Because seven has cold, dark eyes...

[TheGreek]

A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital. "How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die," the soldier said. The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism and said, "I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind." "Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish," the soldier said. The nurse took off her panties and the dying soldier kissed the flag. "Thank you, nurse," he said "Now would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Obama too?"

---

A girl is standing at The Gates of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.
She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"
He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."
She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."
St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."
She says, "That's okay. I've already got holes for that."

[Cyanide and Cynicism]

fuck you

Spoiler:

lol jk.

[cr33pyguy]

since I guess posting on a sticky doesn't count as grave digging, I'll go now

why did the one-handed man cross the road?

Spoiler:

to go to the second-hand store

---

Also,
what is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Spoiler:

Dr. Dre

[Saikou]

[After Jesus died]

[The Romans who whipped Jesus with scourges receive their paychecks.]

[The Romans who put Jesus on the cross are asked what their job was because the authorities forgot.]

[They all simultaneously raise their hands and say "NAILED IT!"]

[Uproar of applause and laughter.]

["Son of God" is filmed in front of a live studio audience.]