[LawDogUSA]

To my respected brothers and sisters,

This is going to be my best attempt with the people and place I trust. Please don't look at me like a sissy or wuss. This is wearing a hole in my heart and breaking down my soul. I fought in other countries, I found on some of the meanest streets of the US. But there's something different when it comes to someone you loved for over 20 years and had 3 beautiful children with. To find out that everything you have and put it in is starting to be eating away like a cancer, and I kept trying to hold on and salvage to no avail. Married 20years, together for more, 3 beautiful children, I provided for them by 2 jobs and a business. Never afraid to tell them all daily I loved them. I kid you not I still have clothes from high school, to make the sacrifice, that they could always have before me in every aspect. Built us all a solid future, that would provide us with enough money to take care of our children and one day grand children and enough to leave them a decent amount to sustain them in life.

It began to crash and burn, I fought, counseling (which I was the only one to go, she talked herself and our kids out). I took care of myself physically and mentally because the writing was on the wall. I began trying to save our money and finding out what I could. In 2017 we had moved back to Illinois from Florida and she landed a fantastic sales job, I had put plenty of years in to semi retired and be the stay at home Dad. When we moved back I took my relestate investments, paid off all debit, except 2 cars and a mortgage, in which I put 50k down, so no need for mortgage insurance. Things were looking ok, but still not great. Without more boring details, by 2019 we had accumulated massive debit, and valuables were removed to a secret storage facility. She load one CC with 25k, another with 9k, took off her wedding ring to go on business trips, began disappearing and showing up home at 3am drunk as can be, later found out secret trips, dinners. I couldn't afford to even buy my kids lunch's for school and had to use the food pantrys. Mind you are regular income was around 100k. Then I thought divorce was coming, but nope, a civil stay away order was issued barring me for my house and children. WTF! It doesn't end.

They didn't want the dog so tied him to a street pole, I had minor clothes, she took my wallet and cellphone, the day this happened, took my papers even thought we still shared a checking account, I still kept my money being deirect deposited.

She underpaid on my car payments, cost huge fines, she stole all my paperwork and passwords and took and hide my pension money, those loaded credit cards, she took her name off and underpaid on those resulting in serious fines, cut off my vehicle insurance, which I got funded for. Forwarded my mail numerous times. Her sales job requires her to travel and book hotels, has etc. She gets reimbursement for, put all on my cards and kept the money for herself, hid every other accounts we had. And yes had been taking stuff and putting it in these secret storage fees. Get proof that there has been a manager she has been sniffing around with at her work which is sexual harassment, for me. My credit is destroyed, I can't pay my pills. I'm a disabled veteran/cop and only get so much each month. She has an attorney, I did, but can't afford one anymore. There is so much more. I say this all cause a lot of people think the men are the dead beats. She has refused I see my youngest son on his last 2 birthdays. It's bad and continues getting worse. She lies to the courts....she took my kids, moved out and enrolled them I'll n other schools, never told anyone. Theymoved out in June and we didn't know until November. I filed for the divorce, screz that. Now she is furious! Never let me see any of them over Christmas break and now we have Coronavirus. I did get the civil order dropped of course and was awarded the house due to the lies. A lot of my stuff is gone, accounts are gone, family posession are gone. Oh she opened more cards in my name and filled them up. They are milking this so, I get more and more screwed.

I spent decades helping people and now I need help. Time is running out. I spoke with some trust worthy peeps her and we all agreed I should post.

What could I use? Access to her Gmail accounts. She has a work laptop, But I believe her personal email is done through her phone. She has an Android Google phone, any bank accounts or tracking where she put accounts, access to her cellphone would be primo. She does all online banking. These Credit Cards, what can be done, anything guys? Any help, I'm so desperate, no where to turn. I can try PIs to figure out this civil suits and supposedly they can do computer stuff to, but it's a fortune. Plus revenge. There's many things to be done I'm sure.

Brothers and Sisters, I need your help. I will pay what I can and do what work I can do. I'm a fair man also. Any help, advice, or words of wisdom. I need support to. Man, there's days I feel so defeated. It bad, very bad. No one, I mean no one deserves this. I have never know women to use their kids as pawns. I bought my kids Christmas presents. She stays with her sister in law. We met at the library and my 7 year old son opened his gifts, and the would not let them being them home with him. Do you know what it's like to have your son crying because they won't let him bring them home to play with. I was crushed he was crushed, and the ex or sis in law had no care as long as it hurt me. What is a good man to do. I ask that you help, support, advise, anything to help a fellow brother out. Please. I truly love and respect you all. My our minds and talents lead us to victory. Thank you

Respectfully Submitted,

G

[mothered]

For the most part, I've read "she", with very little about "you".

What's done Is done, period. You cannot reverse It. Your mentality belongs to you and not her, so shift your attention from her and focus on "yourself", by formulating a strategy towards getting back to normality. The equation Is pretty simple- we're all accountable for our own actions, and create our very own experiences.

Believe me, the clouds will pass and the sun will shine.

[miso]

For the most part, I've read "she", with very little about "you".

What's done Is done, period. You cannot reverse It. Your mentality belongs to you and not her, so shift your attention from her and focus on "yourself", by formulating a strategy towards getting back to normality. The equation Is pretty simple- we're all accountable for our own actions, and create our very own experiences.

Believe me, the clouds will pass and the sun will shine.

the problem is that it is personal for him, he wants to see his kids, im pretty sure that if he just ignores about the divorce & is instead focussing on working, the court will probably just think that his ex-wife is right, which is false. Even if tries working, due to his debts, it would be really hard for him to comeback

I think that he should work when he can & to still be available to go to the court, however, proofs would be needed

After, you said something about her email, do you have access to it? maybe try getting into, you might be able to access her other things such as banking things, which can give you some extra proofs of her creating cards under your name for example

It is really disgusting what she doing to you

[mothered]

the problem is that it is personal for him, he wants to see his kids

Agree, hence I mentioned he should focus on "himself", and not allow her to dictate what he can/cannot do with his very own children.

[miso]

the problem is that it is personal for him, he wants to see his kids

Agree, hence I mentioned he should focus on "himself", and not allow her to dictate what he can/cannot do with his very own children.

what do you mean, for the moment, she basically decides if he's allowed to see his kids or not

[cr4ck3r]

It angers me that some people are like this, after long years of marriage they just simply throw you away once they had a better sight of gold pot at the end of the rainbow, but nonetheless just like what mothered said, what was done is done, we can't take it back anymore although you can focus more on what you have at present right now.

1 - Earning money should be one of your priorities right now since it sounds that you will fight for a long battle regarding the visitation rights on your kids, you may need to hire a lawyer on that so at least you can establish the visitation as a legal right and she can't impede it anymore, it may be wise for the kids to be on her place right now so you won't incur any additional expenses for the mean time until you can get back on your knees again.

2 - Regarding the credit score, If she opened the accounts under your name without your consent, isn't that an identity theft? I'm not a legal luminary so I'm just basing it with the basic definitions that is on top of my head, and if that's the case can it be disputed through the banks?

3 - You may want to drop the revenge part for the mean time so you can entirely focus on the two things that will keep you going, your kids and money, I'm believe in karma (which I'm not quite sure if most of people here does) and most likely what she did to you will go around and circle back to her.

That's my 2 cents about this but the solution will still be entirely up to you.

[LawDogUSA]

Please my brothers and sisters, I value everything you write and respond to me
I do want to start off by saying that revenge is not even q consideration qt this point. And yes, what's done is done. My focus is on my children and I would help her if absolutely necessary. There are a few problems which are my driving force. I love and cherish my children. She is not afraid to put them in harm's way to get whatever her agenda is. Example; when this were starting to go bad, my 6 ur old son at the time was picking up on her behavior and began to turn on her, calling her a bad parent, refusing to speak with her, and so on
Now, I'm a stay at home Dad and she works and provides the health insurance, etc. I did work, the military and lawenforcment. Over 25 years, I have shot and been shot, had my face smashed with a 2x4, thrown 25 feet in a blast, pinned inside a destroyed vehicle, and had to be cut out, twice, 3 knee surgeries, pins, rods, screws in my spine, had to go on chemo twice for my joints, loosing my hearing, concussions, lots of them. None of this is to brag, please, I take pride in what I did, cause I'm still here and I'm walking and talking, and maybe if it was not me the other person does. So no regrets, I signed up for it. I supported my family for the first half and my blood pressure was normal over 200. The docs and bosses said it's over. And honestly, it was time to hang up my cleats. It happens, it's a young mans game. I walked away withe the Purple Heart, Silver Star, Bronze Star, a few more and I was inducted into the Law Enforcement Hall of Fame. Guys, please, I'm not bragging. I'm proud of my accomplishments, again in the sense, someone has to do it, I'm glad it was me and I'm still alive. I did it to pave a way for the future of many and for my family. The wife got an excellent job and our roles reversed.

Well when my son was picking up on the bad situation, he started acting out at schooling, crying, hiding etc. I'm 5 minutes away, she is on average 3 hours away or out of town in q different state. They had a meeting about him at his school, she deleted my emails and never told me. She went and also had me removed from the call list! What Mom does that, later admitting she didn't want him to she he's dad be there all the time and wanted a fair shot at getting "her" chance! WTF. He's q 6 ur old boy. I only found out when my oldest daughter told me. I got ahold of the school and they said yes, she removed you and almost every time he acted out, he asked for you, his Dad. Could you imagine the pain I felt!

I do not hit my wife, I do not beat my children, some very minor discipline when younger. And that was about it, some yelling all around, but not often. If the wife and I argued, I rarely raised my voice. I began taking shots from her in the form of a punch to the face or me bringing called a coward or a crippled. Not what you would expect for a 20 year marriage. I was into saving a planing money, she was into spending. At one time I counted 38 dresses with the tags still on them and we had 5 crock pots, just to show how crazy it was getting. None of us knew what was going on with her and our families tried.

Things were headed for a drastic change. I got the I'm going to call the Police and say you beat me, I'm going to run up the credit cards and dump them on you. I'm telling the Police you have guns and take medicine. I'm like, I'm a Police Officer (all my children were professionally trained) and not by me, real pros. I had blood pressure medication and sleep medicne if I needed it. She took it and dumped my medicine and I have my Father the small amount of firearms I owned.

One of my degrees is in psychology and for years I was on an emergency response team to get to those Military, Cops, Fireman, etc who would need assistance, we see a lot of shit. So besides checkups with my regular doctor, I had regular appointments with psych docs to. I didn't want to be the typical first responders that dies in there 50s.

Well with the writing on the wall, the threats, the money.... I started using my body came to film incidents, the lies, and the more I looked the more I found. Her wedding ring came off, partying began, lies, weird calls. My kids were aware. I thought she was going to file for divorce and no, she files for a civil order. Huh? I moved in with my mom Which is right across the street street almost. Every spam text, strange call, or even when I talked to my middle daughter who loves Star Wars, I made a reference about Darth Vader, she tried to have me arrested.

I had enough and filed for divorce and all her unnecessary stuff was dropped. In the meantime she moved my pension, accounts, valuable papers. We got assigned a GAL guardian for the children, dealt with that and 3 days before the split custody rule came the virus hit and now it's a waiting game, I believe the next date isn't until June now.

Guys with medical I get I'm limited per money on what I make. They went behind my back force filed for 900$ for my kids. I'm plenty capable of paying for my own kids with that money and she used my signature and borrowed another $900, so every month it her a little over $1000. I had plenty of money in my accounts, life insurance, pensions, but she moved them all. I need to find out where the money is or what she did with it, because she's not going to tell me and the court papers I have filed can tact months to hopefully get an answer. In her sales job last year she made $89,000. But yet cries poor and wants more from me? From where? She has the control of the kids cause she lied to the Judge and everyone, took them out of their school and moved in with her half brother and his family, 25 miles away, and there's 9 people in that house. She wants a supervisor there all the time and if she doesn't know or like the person, no visits. I had to emergency file online so I can at least Skype my son. This took her 3 weeks to download an app and no she says she can't located me so we can visit. I missed his birthday again, other relatives were invited, not me. My son cry's and asks for me to fight for him when we talk on the phone. It's on speaker always, she has been fined in court for doing it, but still does. She will call, let it ring once and hang up. She won't let him come over to his old house where I stay cause she doesn't know who's here. It goes on.

I'm trying to do what's right. I can think of a lot of dads who would have kicked some ass by now.

That's why I need help, advice, anything. If I can get into some old phones, the Gmail's, the computers the phone. For proof and evidence. Not to be malicious. These are my kids and I have to fight somehow. I can push the fraud/credit card issue, but most likely goodbye job, I also have that sexual harassment case. Finding my accounts and pension would be excellent. Finding any info would help. I want what's mine, fair, be done and move on with my life. I could destroy things. I have asked for meetings and they refuse. Between the 2 cards she loaded up its $35,000. I have paid over $7000 in fines. Any help would be much appreciated. If I loose my house I'm on the street. She has committed crimes. I just want what's mine, fair, and move on. There is so much more. I'm trying to take what has happened and I am moving forward as best I can. As Father's we have a job to do. I stood up in Court and said this. ". I am the Father and leader of this family, the faults of my marriage are my failures as a husband, the faults of my children, our my failures as their Father". The burden is mine, blame me, punish me, I take these failures, probably with no chance to every make it right, and I'm the one who stands before God, and confesses. And my boy says no Dad, I will stand there too and hold your hand!

My heart is broken

Thank you, Respectfully Submitted,

G

[Drako]

I don't know what to say honestly. Sounds like you're in a horrible situation.

I wouldn't dwell in the past. It's not likely that you would've been able to prevent this from happening. From what I can see you're a very respectable man. Unfortunately, in a marriage-gone-wrong, women almost always win. Mothers or wives can be completely in the wrong, be an alcoholic or drug addict, and still get away with whatever they want.

Right now I would focus on the money. Cancel anything you can. If you don't need it to live, cut it off. If you aren't trapped in a contract, cut it off. The credit card situation is also a huge weight on you. Pushing for fraud on your wife is most likely the best you'll be able to do right now. Provide a case that proves she's 100% in the wrong.

And when you get out the other side of this, do better for yourself. Because this isn't your fault. Prove your wife wrong. Show her you left the wrong person.

[mothered]

what do you mean, for the moment, she basically decides if he's allowed to see his kids or not

Precisely what I'm referring to by this:

not allow her to dictate what he can/cannot do with his very own children.

"He" needs to take control and do whatever It takes (legally or otherwise) and decide when "he" can see his children. I've been there, done that and whilst It's not easy by any means, any given situation can change- but only If "you" decide to apply yourself and take control of the matter.

[Mr.Kurd]

Can we talk further more on Discord??