[Jusluvn]

So I'm not sure why I'm posting this here, but guess you guys just seem chill and feedback would be nice. Currently in a relationship and have a kid on the way. Well come to find out kid might not be mine, I've finally got decent money coming in and things are finally getting caught up. I decided to man up and do what I had to do regardless of finding out. Now I fins myself in a spot of being kind of detached and us obviously not getting along. I don't really have anywhere else to go and stupidly I just forked over pretty much my whole paycheck for bills leaving me with very little money. Thing is in trying to do the right thing here (she has some pretty bad health issues also) but it feels so wrong. At what point to I decided to walk away and start with nothing? Any advice would be great

[tamajiv176]

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're in. The good thing is that the ball is in your court and you can make the decisions here.

If the child is not yours that would mean your partner cheated on you right? You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone like that (ignore the health issues she has they are irrelevant to this decision). Also you say you feel detached, well that will effect the child in the long term (children pick up in these things). Think carefully about if you want to stay with someone who has cheated and lied to you. If you can forgive them, fine. If you cannot then make the decision to leave.

[Jusluvn]

It can be forgiven. But I'm in a position where if I decide to leave, I will be with nothing and on the streets. I do have a job but like I said just paid bills and, am broke till payday. As much as I want to make things work, I'm afraid they aren't going to. But starting from nothing is gonna be hard. I do love her and hope things work, but shes been by me through my bad, so I feel like I should be by her through her bad. How can one come to terms with leaving everything and turning my back on the situation? Thanks for the advice its much appreciated.

[tamajiv176]

It can be forgiven. But I'm in a position where if I decide to leave, I will be with nothing and on the streets. I do have a job but like I said just paid bills and, am broke till payday. As much as I want to make things work, I'm afraid they aren't going to. But starting from nothing is gonna be hard. I do love her and hope things work, but shes been by me through my bad, so I feel like I should be by her through her bad. How can one come to terms with leaving everything and turning my back on the situation? Thanks for the advice its much appreciated.

No problem. Why would you be on the streets? Do you live at her place? It sounds like you are willing to forgive. Just think about it carefully and make sure that's what you really want to do. I would not worry about starting again from nothing, because that is better than being unhappy with what you currently have. But it seems like from what you have told me that you want to make things work out.

[Jusluvn]

It can be forgiven. But I'm in a position where if I decide to leave, I will be with nothing and on the streets. I do have a job but like I said just paid bills and, am broke till payday. As much as I want to make things work, I'm afraid they aren't going to. But starting from nothing is gonna be hard. I do love her and hope things work, but shes been by me through my bad, so I feel like I should be by her through her bad. How can one come to terms with leaving everything and turning my back on the situation? Thanks for the advice its much appreciated.

No problem. Why would you be on the streets? Do you live at her place? It sounds like you are willing to forgive. Just think about it carefully and make sure that's what you really want to do. I would not worry about starting again from nothing, because that is better than being unhappy with what you currently have. But it seems like from what you have told me that you want to make things work out.

Quick update. From the time of the last post to now, it all went bad. She attacked me and got some good hits on my face and a few good bite marks on me. I did live at her place, and this happened conveniently after I put money in her acc to pay rent, so now I'm broke without a place ha. Luckily still working. What gets me the most though is as messed up as it all is, part of me wants it to work still. But I now know it just wont, I've done all I could to make it work, and attacking me was the last straw. Gonna have a good shiner on my eye tomorrow. Like I said I appreciate the advice. The awnser is obvious but feelings made me blind

[Dismas]

You've said she cheated on you and attacked you. Nobody deserves that abuse. Safety/shelter matter most, but you should cut and run.

You could try speaking with the bank about reversing the transaction.

[Jusluvn]

You've said she cheated on you and attacked you. Nobody deserves that abuse. Safety/shelter matter most, but you should cut and run.

You could try speaking with the bank about reversing the transaction.

Its a whole messed up story. She cheated told my family she got raped long story short I could forgive it. But I can forgive her punching me multiple times and trying to play victim when clearly my face is the one messed up. Cant do anything about the money. It's a loss. It's a decent chunk of money but at the end of the day a small loss to pay for my sanity. I'm sad I was blinded by feelings and fell into such a bad position when in all reality I knew better

[mothered]

At what point to I decided to walk away and start with nothing?

These very words conclude your Intentions- It's just a matter of "when".

In my view, the sooner the better. There's no point hanging around for no purpose.

[Jusluvn]

Appreciate the advice everyone. The choice was clear, I just didnt want it to be true. Learned a life lesson the hard way. I will never again put myself in a position like that again. Hopefully I can keep this job and start fresh.

[mothered]

Appreciate the advice everyone. The choice was clear, I just didnt want it to be true. Learned a life lesson the hard way. I will never again put myself in a position like that again. Hopefully I can keep this job and start fresh.

Take the positive out of the negative and move forward.

You're now aware of what "not to do" In similar circumstances.