[Autobiography] Hell In my Head 12-19-2012, 05:52 PM
#1
My childhood was a normal one for the most part, my parents were divorced since I was a little baby so I kind of grew up used to it. In middle school my dad was the LA Times manager, we were pretty wealthy my dad drove a fancy Mercedes, we had a two story house, my room was really awesome it was a room that had one huge room then a hallway with a closet into another room, the other room had a window you could see the main street on. I had a Xbox360 in my room and a PS2 in the other.
Every summer I would go to Colorado to see my aunt, I normally had a great time there, but one summer after having to buy my own plane ticket by getting a job, I come home to living in a hotel, with only the bare minimum for living, all of my stuff was gone and dad said it was in storage for now. I didn't complain at all, I just went with it since I was young I didn't know how to process it. I end up moving into a condo with my dad and step mom. The thing about her though is that she was an evil bitch to me whenever my dad was gone, so I let nature take its course and figured my dad would see the flaws in her.
One day I cleaned the entire house cause she always made me do a bunch of shit whenever I asked to go outside, I recorded everything super cleaned on my phone and then when I told her I was done I had my phone in my pocket, and she started getting all pissed and what not so I recorded her and showed my dad. That story also reminds me of how my dog pulled me down a huge dirt hill cause he was to excited, I was a really light weight kid. I come home with my body all scraped up and bleeding everywhere, my step mom is on myspace, I call her and she says hold on and gives me the finger... I went up to my dad covered in blood and told him how she was on myspace and ignored me.
We got rid of her then my dad lost a good amount of income cause she helped with the rent also, we ended up moving into a garage converted into a bedroom, with no walls or privacy. The bathroom was right next to the kitchen which is weird when you are walking through the whole Mexican family just to go to the bathroom, I looked like a lost little boy in taco bell. But I never broke spirit I was always accepting of wherever we were living and made the best of things, my friends always helped me out too. Around this time I am a freshman in summer break, by the time school started home coming came by and I asked out this girl who was always on my mind.
Her name was Japanese and it was an odd one, she always hung out with these band nerds and would hide amongst them but I sometimes would notice her and she was really attractive. I sat next to her in English which is the class my friends and I would normally fuck around in. But I also talked to her a lot, and I defended her friend from this football jock who was telling her to shutup. She was the last person who thought I would ask her out, but little did anyone know I have a thing for shy nerds.
The homecoming football game day came by, and she was in color guard so she performed a little bit with cheer, after she was done she came up to her band section surprised to see me there, we were hanging out she was leaning on me and I was feeling like a champ with a lady by my side, half time came and the fireworks were going off, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes, then we kissed under the fireworks. It was her first kiss and my first real one. We were a happy couple, being teenagers we had sex.... A lot of sex, I had sex about every day she came, which was a lot cause we were so attached to each other.
During the end of sophomore year I started to get fed up with things, like my patience was growing thin with everyone and everything that didn't go my way, needless to say I wasn't myself. I was pissing off my girlfriend on purpose, not sure why (well now I do). I was walking down to algebra when I passed out in the hall way, I apparently started to walk everywhere then fell over and hit my head on the cement.
I was rushed to the hospital, woke up in the ambulance. They gave me a CAT scan, from that they were thinking I had a cyst but needed me to take a MRI to be sure. They gave me painkillers for my headaches and we left with an appointment to come back and get a MRI. Couple days pass and we go to get my MRI, after 45 minutes of sitting in an awkward position with a needle in my vein I got my MRI cd and they instructed us to take it to a neurosurgeon in LA. We take the three hour drive to LA due to traffic, and when we get there my neurosurgeon looks at the MRI and concludes I have a tumor the size of a baseball in my brain. My dad breaks down and starts crying, I just kind of sat there and starred and the doctor, then said what are we going to do about it.
Three days later I had a scheduled appointment to go in for surgery, I had an expert neurosurgeon from a very prestigious school. My dad told everyone and I meet with my family on all three nights of me going home, freaked me out like there was something I didn't know. Ignoring this feeling of mine, I told my girlfriend and when I told her about my tumor she had no emotion at all, she just kind of stood there and said oh and acted like that was just a normal thing. It angered me so I went to my surgery pissed off with my girlfriend.
I woke up 4 AM in the morning to drive to L.A but we had to pick up my aunt first cause she was coming. For some reason my bitch ex step mom came, acting like I was her child. I heard her literately say "My son has surgery". The nerve of that women to treat me like shit and call me her son. A nurse came by and got me, took me to this room with a bunch of old people waiting to go into surgery. I was the only young person in there, this gut feeling kept coming up saying I was going to die today.
I didn't want to go out like a bitch so I swallowed my feelings and distracted myself. When it came time for my surgery my heart rate rose and I freaked out a little but kept my composer. When I was pulled into the surgery room it was really cold, and there were like seven people around, they were asking me my hobbies and what not trying to distract me. I was just waiting to be knocked out so I can find out if wake up or not. They put a mask on me and tell me to count back from 10, I get to six and blackout.
I had no dreams that I remember, although the surgery was four hours and halfway through they started giving me hydro morphine (20X stronger then morphine) so I didn't have intense pain when I woke up. After being knocked out the first thing I remember is talking to my uncle Danny being all doped up. I was in pain but too high to realize it. I fell asleep a couple times, I cussed out a few nurses on my way to my room. I lost a lot of motor skills, like the ability to be able to control my arms completely and how to walk. I had to wait until I re developed my motor skills.
A picture of my wound three days after surgery(had my staples removed)
http://gyazo.com/23648639b3b9a6d7bf441fb83aecf8a5
(Warning, a tad moving)
http://gyazo.com/f5422d211eba11ac5ff66fafa71f553f
I returned home still having to recover, having a metal plate in my head to replace skull that was removed to get the tumor was hard to adjust to. I also have three screws on the side of my head. I lost all skills with the computer, I forgot how to graphic design completely and coding as well. During the time of me being home I had to remain on anti seizure medication, and antibiotics for my wound. The seizure pills made me really angry, I was good at keeping it in but the moment it comes out it is bad, that caused my girlfriend and I to break up. Whatever though right I just had brain surgery you can't expect me to be all normal.
After a few months I adjust to the pills and manage anger better. (smoking weed) It also killed my headaches completely so I smoked it for that reason as well, I don't feel sick from marijuana as I do on painkillers. I was told my cognitive thinking would be impaired (knowing the difference from right and wrong). When I am under pressure this does happen but not really often, Ever since though I left high school, I now had a condition that would be known as the most painful one in the world, cluster headaches.
" Women with cluster headache will tell you that an attack is worse than giving birth."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_headache
I couldn't deal with high school anymore, the teachers were moronic and I couldn't stand them. The whole popular scene is just dumb and I have the ability to get girls, I just choose not to cause most of them are slutty. I tend to go for a girl when I see the right one but the right one doesn't come very often.
I am almost 18, I will be getting my GED, then I will be attending community college, and moving onto a four year for my bachelor's degree in information systems and cyber security.
Every summer I would go to Colorado to see my aunt, I normally had a great time there, but one summer after having to buy my own plane ticket by getting a job, I come home to living in a hotel, with only the bare minimum for living, all of my stuff was gone and dad said it was in storage for now. I didn't complain at all, I just went with it since I was young I didn't know how to process it. I end up moving into a condo with my dad and step mom. The thing about her though is that she was an evil bitch to me whenever my dad was gone, so I let nature take its course and figured my dad would see the flaws in her.
One day I cleaned the entire house cause she always made me do a bunch of shit whenever I asked to go outside, I recorded everything super cleaned on my phone and then when I told her I was done I had my phone in my pocket, and she started getting all pissed and what not so I recorded her and showed my dad. That story also reminds me of how my dog pulled me down a huge dirt hill cause he was to excited, I was a really light weight kid. I come home with my body all scraped up and bleeding everywhere, my step mom is on myspace, I call her and she says hold on and gives me the finger... I went up to my dad covered in blood and told him how she was on myspace and ignored me.
We got rid of her then my dad lost a good amount of income cause she helped with the rent also, we ended up moving into a garage converted into a bedroom, with no walls or privacy. The bathroom was right next to the kitchen which is weird when you are walking through the whole Mexican family just to go to the bathroom, I looked like a lost little boy in taco bell. But I never broke spirit I was always accepting of wherever we were living and made the best of things, my friends always helped me out too. Around this time I am a freshman in summer break, by the time school started home coming came by and I asked out this girl who was always on my mind.
Her name was Japanese and it was an odd one, she always hung out with these band nerds and would hide amongst them but I sometimes would notice her and she was really attractive. I sat next to her in English which is the class my friends and I would normally fuck around in. But I also talked to her a lot, and I defended her friend from this football jock who was telling her to shutup. She was the last person who thought I would ask her out, but little did anyone know I have a thing for shy nerds.
The homecoming football game day came by, and she was in color guard so she performed a little bit with cheer, after she was done she came up to her band section surprised to see me there, we were hanging out she was leaning on me and I was feeling like a champ with a lady by my side, half time came and the fireworks were going off, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes, then we kissed under the fireworks. It was her first kiss and my first real one. We were a happy couple, being teenagers we had sex.... A lot of sex, I had sex about every day she came, which was a lot cause we were so attached to each other.
During the end of sophomore year I started to get fed up with things, like my patience was growing thin with everyone and everything that didn't go my way, needless to say I wasn't myself. I was pissing off my girlfriend on purpose, not sure why (well now I do). I was walking down to algebra when I passed out in the hall way, I apparently started to walk everywhere then fell over and hit my head on the cement.
I was rushed to the hospital, woke up in the ambulance. They gave me a CAT scan, from that they were thinking I had a cyst but needed me to take a MRI to be sure. They gave me painkillers for my headaches and we left with an appointment to come back and get a MRI. Couple days pass and we go to get my MRI, after 45 minutes of sitting in an awkward position with a needle in my vein I got my MRI cd and they instructed us to take it to a neurosurgeon in LA. We take the three hour drive to LA due to traffic, and when we get there my neurosurgeon looks at the MRI and concludes I have a tumor the size of a baseball in my brain. My dad breaks down and starts crying, I just kind of sat there and starred and the doctor, then said what are we going to do about it.
Three days later I had a scheduled appointment to go in for surgery, I had an expert neurosurgeon from a very prestigious school. My dad told everyone and I meet with my family on all three nights of me going home, freaked me out like there was something I didn't know. Ignoring this feeling of mine, I told my girlfriend and when I told her about my tumor she had no emotion at all, she just kind of stood there and said oh and acted like that was just a normal thing. It angered me so I went to my surgery pissed off with my girlfriend.
I woke up 4 AM in the morning to drive to L.A but we had to pick up my aunt first cause she was coming. For some reason my bitch ex step mom came, acting like I was her child. I heard her literately say "My son has surgery". The nerve of that women to treat me like shit and call me her son. A nurse came by and got me, took me to this room with a bunch of old people waiting to go into surgery. I was the only young person in there, this gut feeling kept coming up saying I was going to die today.
I didn't want to go out like a bitch so I swallowed my feelings and distracted myself. When it came time for my surgery my heart rate rose and I freaked out a little but kept my composer. When I was pulled into the surgery room it was really cold, and there were like seven people around, they were asking me my hobbies and what not trying to distract me. I was just waiting to be knocked out so I can find out if wake up or not. They put a mask on me and tell me to count back from 10, I get to six and blackout.
I had no dreams that I remember, although the surgery was four hours and halfway through they started giving me hydro morphine (20X stronger then morphine) so I didn't have intense pain when I woke up. After being knocked out the first thing I remember is talking to my uncle Danny being all doped up. I was in pain but too high to realize it. I fell asleep a couple times, I cussed out a few nurses on my way to my room. I lost a lot of motor skills, like the ability to be able to control my arms completely and how to walk. I had to wait until I re developed my motor skills.
A picture of my wound three days after surgery(had my staples removed)
http://gyazo.com/23648639b3b9a6d7bf441fb83aecf8a5
(Warning, a tad moving)
http://gyazo.com/f5422d211eba11ac5ff66fafa71f553f
I returned home still having to recover, having a metal plate in my head to replace skull that was removed to get the tumor was hard to adjust to. I also have three screws on the side of my head. I lost all skills with the computer, I forgot how to graphic design completely and coding as well. During the time of me being home I had to remain on anti seizure medication, and antibiotics for my wound. The seizure pills made me really angry, I was good at keeping it in but the moment it comes out it is bad, that caused my girlfriend and I to break up. Whatever though right I just had brain surgery you can't expect me to be all normal.
After a few months I adjust to the pills and manage anger better. (smoking weed) It also killed my headaches completely so I smoked it for that reason as well, I don't feel sick from marijuana as I do on painkillers. I was told my cognitive thinking would be impaired (knowing the difference from right and wrong). When I am under pressure this does happen but not really often, Ever since though I left high school, I now had a condition that would be known as the most painful one in the world, cluster headaches.
" Women with cluster headache will tell you that an attack is worse than giving birth."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_headache
I couldn't deal with high school anymore, the teachers were moronic and I couldn't stand them. The whole popular scene is just dumb and I have the ability to get girls, I just choose not to cause most of them are slutty. I tend to go for a girl when I see the right one but the right one doesn't come very often.
I am almost 18, I will be getting my GED, then I will be attending community college, and moving onto a four year for my bachelor's degree in information systems and cyber security.
![[+]](https://sinister.ly/images/modern/collapse_collapsed.png)
, good luck in college, If you ever need help with anything pertaining to cyber security let me know, Also, if you ever come across anything interesting the field let me know 
![[Image: tumblr_m4vms28lYu1qj3ir1.gif]](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4vms28lYu1qj3ir1.gif)
