[Inori]

It's all in the context imo. Hell, I won't lie, I've thought about and even attempted it last June when my life was a giant clusterfuck, but by no means do I recommend suicide as a way out. Whenever I try to talk to people about it, and moreover why people shouldn't, I usually get something along the lines of "people you/they know would be in shock and melancholy," - which is true, don't get me wrong. One of my peers killed himself on my birthday last year and people are still getting over it (in fact, I decided not to have a party or anything out of respect) - but it's a bullshit answer. If you're considering ending your life, other peoples' feelings probably aren't at the top of your list of things to worry about.

Not like I can actually tell you to do anything (and really, how many people listen to 16-year-olds on the internet?), but I'd recommend talking to a professional if you find it's on your mind frequently. As for pushing drugs, as long as you don't stiff or rip off your clients, and you're not the kind of sick fuck that cuts fentanyl or something equally terrifying into your orders, you're just helping people do something safely, illicit or not, that they would most likely do anyway.

Also, know that it's never to late to learn anything. If you want to actively contribute to your community, you can learn absolutely anything from the internet.