[mothered]

I never quite fully 'understood' why the fuck I was doing it. I was forced.

You've nailed It right here.

Learning should be via your own volition, and not engaged because you "have" to or because others "want" you to. In my experience, If I have a significant Interest In a particular subject (as with my computing), the learning process becomes second-nature. As a result, I excel In a most positive manner.