[m0dem]

It has come to our attention that some of the audience members at recent performances of “Penarium: The Sadistic Circus Extravaganza”, were upset at the “unexpectedly” violent content and prematurely excused themselves from the show. While we understand that “hilarious-yet-life-threatening peril isn’t for everyone,” we also feel that it’s pretty clear from the title of our circus that someone or something was going to be made to feel pain for our entertainment at some point, since that’s exactly was sadistic means.
And honestly, we believe watching people suffer as they jump from platform to platform completing objectives and dodging deadly obstacles as thousands cheer them on is the future of entertainment, and that people would love it if they just gave it a chance. We bet if there was some way to watch people do that from the comfort of their own bedroom, people all over the country would be doing it for hours a day.
While we still feel like we haven’t done anything wrong, admission will be offered at a much cheaper price than normal for one day only as a show of good faith.
Thanks and have a pain-tastic day!
-The Ringleader
PS: The allegations that the star of our show was kidnapped from a podunk farm in the middle of nowhere are entirely false, we swear.

Sounds creative.