[Spirit]

Oh, and OP, it's clear that you're beating yourself up and trying to make yourself seem like an idiot in your own eyes, but look at it this way...
Have you seen me release any software/scripts/applications? The answer is no because I flat-out can't with my current skill-set. However, this is something that I plan on changing eventually.

Regardless, you're doing things that are improving yourself. That's education. You're literally beating yourself up for being educated. So, just let it go and finally accept that you are in fact making progress.