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Okay look i dont get it i see people saying

A: "What languages you know?"

B: "i know C++ and Vb.net"

Me: "What the **** are you talking about"

A and B: "You dont know what languages are?"

I dont know what languages are i saw alot of tutorials and i dont know whats an ebook. Whats a language. Wat the *** is a C or C++ someone please tell me what....Hold up im getting carried away let me put it in an organize matter.

1.Whats Languages?
2.Is their a way to Download c or c++
3.Can i have a tutorial? (link or some sort)
4.Do languages have anything to do with game hacking? (if it does tell me how)
5.Whats the easiest language?
6.What the *** is an ebook (and if i have to pay for it never mind.)