[Sir]

Well I should start off by saying I've told this story a lot, and every time I do it seems to change a little, regardless this was a real life experience and even though the order is a little hazy and it was well over a year ago I'm going to do my best to get everything down the way it was.

Before we begin this weird tale of mine let me begin by saying that this is indeed real life events, my life, characters,names, and locations have been changed to protect the identities of those involved, or I just forgot them and needed a name.

This is a long one, and for me to tell it I'm just going to slowly add onto it as I remember details (there's a lot to this story it spans a few months kinda going on and off, and somewhere along the lines I got the order messed up, but it's not really too relevant anyway).

I used to run a rather successful business, and that too is a long story best saved for another day. Well the business went downhill due to uncontrollable circumstances and due to the scarcity of jobs in my area I was not given many other options for income, (dealing sucks after getting a gun pulled on me and one of my boys put in a full body cast after being jacked for an O of loud (est value 300-400$, I decided it wasn't worth the risk to stay in that game, and at the time I basically was doing everything I could to avoid a computer since the past 3 years of my life were spent on on for my previous business). One day a life long friend of mine with some rather strange connections to a large amount of... eccentric, I suppose that's the word I could use... people contacts me and says something along the lines of "Hey dude, I know money's hard for you, but I might be able to help, I've been living in this guy's 'crazy' house, he's paying me 100$ a day cash under the table to work a few hours a day for him at his business, he's also letting me live here rent free, and feeding me, smoking me out, booze, cigs, all that good stuff"... I don't remember exactly what I said, but I was excited... Obviously... In fact I was too excited, I forgot that old saying "If it sounds too good to be true, odds are it is"...


I'll add to this later; 7:13 PM 9/26/2013

Cont: 1:22 AM 9/30/2013

I arrive at the guy's house and pull into his drive way (we'll call him Danny from now on), from the outside it appears to be a normal house common to suburbs in my area, I immediately think this may be the wrong address due to the fact my friend said he lives in a "crazy house", but I see my friend's car parked outside and know it must be the right one. I pull up into the drive way and notice some plastic fake golden doubloons scattered all over the drive away, along with what appears to be Marti-gras beads, I assumed they had a crazy party or something and didn't think too much about it, until the garage doors open...

I now know what he meant by a "crazy house", the interior of his garage is intense, there's black-lights everywhere and a bunch of TVs all playing some music video, a lounge area set up with a wide assortment of bowls and bongs sitting on it, crazy decorations all over the place like something you might see in a haunted house. Oh yeah and a few arcade machines to top it all off... I couldn't believe this was somebody's house...

I just walk right on in and close the garage door behind me, I see my buddy (whom I will now call Ezekiel, I think he'd like that name haha), and Danny sitting on this long 3 piece sofa that curves around like half the room, they're smoking. I greet them, introduce myself, tell a joke. Then I started to realize just how crazy this guy's house was, there's huge fish tanks every where, fake vines and shrubbery dangling everywhere, must of been several hundred medieval swords and axes nailed to his walls, so much that they covered almost every inch of the walls, and ceilings, even a giant, I think it was a 9 1/2 ft, suit of armor in the corner. I could go on and on about the decorations, the dollar bills taped to the walls, the extravagant themed tables, the banners, it was like walking into another world, it was surreal. Did I mention the security cameras everywhere? I'm going to try and recount all of them, 5 in total I think. Knowing me I'm pretty sure I inquired about the security cameras at that time, he said they were for security, and to prevent and deter theft, yeah I could see that, this guy has a lot of valuables to steal, I get it. I ask if they're in the room I'll be sleeping, he says they're not. (I went through with a cheap bug sweeper a few days later and before me and my gf at the time insisted on it, before we started having sex in the room, it was all clean)

Well after taking in all of the decorations, I start to notice Danny, and how peculiar he's dressed, middle aged man with long hair, who kinda looks like a pirate, I think his parrot may of been on his shoulder and that's what gave me that first impression (was it a parrot? I don't remember, I suck with birds, parakeet I think, yeah it didn't talk, that sounds right).

I'll continue this later.