[Pionear]

I just want to drop a bit of soul talk.

I don't know how to properly explain and ask for help, but I'll just tell, like talking cure, what hurts and where does it hurt.

All day, every day, I feel hungry. All know it's not food hunger, it's something deeper.
Not just something, that little simple piece everyone of us needs to keep on living, and when you can't find it, you just feel like not feeling: Motivation.

I think I feel pretty bad, for the past months I've been acting weird near my friends and family and I can't stop to understand what I'm feeling and fix it, or act normal upon a questionable normal feel that probably everyone feels time in time, and I'm overcomplicating it, and can not unknot it.

My friends think I'm sick or gay, but bear not to be sure (as me), my family just thinks I'm sad lately, because I'm a professional masker , and I? I'm fucked up. Because of this dilemma:

If I'm sad > I don't know why.
Because there's too many reasons for me to be sad and none of them should be dark enough for me to be that sad for so long. If the problem is that there's too many, and I should clear some, one by one, I don't think I would be this confused for so long.
If I'm mentally ill > It's fixable?
Because if I'm mentally ill, I know it's all psychological, it's just about inserting the right notions/ideas on my head and enforce them, problem is, I know the right notions and ideas, so why would I be like this? Because I don't truly believe them?
If I'm gay > I wouldn't really give a fuck
Because It's just Dicks or Clits, nothing that really matters as deeper personality or what I am and wouldn't place me in this little dark room like this.

Self-love is 10%. Others-love is 90% yet shown as 10% (maybe because I feel like I don't want others that I love to love me as I love them because I'm not as good as them? So I'm defensive and unconsciously pushing people away? If that was the problem, would be fixed as soon as I wrote this).
I have ADHD.

I'm tired.

[mothered]

Your symptoms seem consistent with the onset of clinical depression.

I strongly advise to consult your local doctor. He/she Is In the best position to diagnose and If need be, provide a prognosis.

[Pionear]

Your symptoms seem consistent with the onset of clinical depression.

I strongly advise to consult your local doctor. He/she Is In the best position to diagnose and If need be, provide a prognosis.

I'd rather homestudy psychology and fix myself than to find a Doctor who'll only help me for the capitals.

[mothered]

Your symptoms seem consistent with the onset of clinical depression.

I strongly advise to consult your local doctor. He/she Is In the best position to diagnose and If need be, provide a prognosis.

I'd rather homestudy psychology and fix myself than to find a Doctor who'll only help me for the capitals.

I do hope you can (fix yourself) because If that's the case, this thread wouldn't exist.

Whatever practitioners gain Is their prerogative. They do have a duty of care for the best Interest of their patients, and do a great job at that.

[Pionear]

Your symptoms seem consistent with the onset of clinical depression.

I strongly advise to consult your local doctor. He/she Is In the best position to diagnose and If need be, provide a prognosis.

I'd rather homestudy psychology and fix myself than to find a Doctor who'll only help me for the capitals.

I do hope you can (fix yourself) because If that's the case, this thread wouldn't exist.

Whatever practitioners gain Is their prerogative. They do have a duty of care for the best Interest of their patients, and do a great job at that.

I know you're right but doesn't feel good to accept that

[mothered]

I'd rather homestudy psychology and fix myself than to find a Doctor who'll only help me for the capitals.

I do hope you can (fix yourself) because If that's the case, this thread wouldn't exist.

Whatever practitioners gain Is their prerogative. They do have a duty of care for the best Interest of their patients, and do a great job at that.

I know you're right but doesn't feel good to accept that

I fully respect your choice(s).

I'm simply offering my thoughts and advice on the matter. Ultimately, the decision Is yours.
I wish you the best In resolving everything promptly.