Quote:OVERHEARD IN CLOGHEAD VILLAGE
“Hey...have you been seeing that Sproggi guy around town?”
“Oh yeah, that guy! He’s the forest spirit who always sounds like he’s yelling, right?”
“AHEM…”
“Oh crud! Shut up dude! It’s him!”
“WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT A FOREST SPIRIT?”
“N...nothing, man.”
“YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ME AGAIN, WEREN’T YOU?”
“Pssh! No way, man! We were talking about this other...forest spirit…we know…”
“VERY WELL, THEN. PLAY DUMB ALL YOU LIKE, BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH! I KNOW TRICKING THE CLOGHEADS INTO CARRYING OUT MY EVERY WHIM ISN’T THE MOST ETHICAL THING IN THE WORLD, BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? I HAVE TO PROTECT MY FOREST SOMEHOW. THERE’S ALL THESE CRAZY RANDOMIZED DUNGEONS TO GET THROUGH, AND YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO SUPER GOOD AT TURN-BASED ROGUELIKE GRID COMBAT…”
“Look, I know man! I get it! But there’s six completely different classes of Cloghead out there, bro! I didn’t spend my entire life training to be a magician who runs around in dungeons killing monsters and collecting loot, fun as that is! (Winks at audience.)”
“RIGHT, RIGHT, WHICH IS WHY I SHOWED UP AND STARTED BUILDING UP YOUR VILLAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE. DON’T THINK OF IT AS WORK I’M FORCING YOU TO DO. INSTEAD JUST THINK OF IT AS AN INVESTMENT IN THE FUTURE OF YOUR PEOPLE. AFTER ALL, YOUR HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN ANYTHING.”
“Nice…”
“Totally nice…”
“...”
“...”
“...You’re gonna make us keep doing it though, right?”
“OH MOST DEFINITELY. A FOREST SPIRIT’S WORK IS NEVER OVER!”
“#blessed…”