Hello all,
Firstly, I am aware that this is a sensitive topic, I had a look through the rules but don't find anything that makes this topic not allowed, the closest thing to it is
Quote:You may not post shocking, disturbing, or pornographic content.
Please tell me if this is not allowed. However, if you don't want to read about this, please click away.
I am also not sure about whether this is the right category, but it is very serious. Disclaimers aside, here's the main part:
I don't want to listen to y'all saying I am worth living, I've heard it way too many times, and disagree with most of them. Even if I'm really worth living, I don't care. I get to decide what I find the most suitable for myself. Don't bombard the replies with "go find a suicide hotline" or other bullshit, I tried many from more than 1 country, none of them helped. I have a school counsellor, but he doesn't help either.
I don't want to die per se, I just want to stop being here. I should never have been alive in the first place, for I cause nothing but trouble to my surroundings. The reason why I asked for advice in this board rather than any other place is because this is pretty much the only board that I have spent time on, the only board that doesn't have many toxic "are you such a failure you can't even kill yourself" replies, and also the only place that I don't know anyone of. I lost 3 out of my 3 only friends when I came out as suicidal, from then on, I'm never trusting anyone else with this secret of mine. I sincerely hope this board will be the most helpful, as it is the only place I've asked, and plan on ask.
I have a very specific set of criteria in terms of finding my method.
1) It must be quick. I must be able to die within 30 minutes of starting it.
2) As little tools as possible. e.g. I do not live in the USA and hence I cannot use a gun.
3) Painless. I do not want my last minutes to be painful.
4) No permanent harm. I do not at all mind if I will be fail (in fact, probably better, as that would give me a chance to reflect). But I do not want to be harmed permanently, the maximum I can bear is a scar that will heal quickly.
5) My body will be one piece. I don't want to be split into 6 pieces and have the doctors put me back together.
6) Will not generate fines. In Belgium and Japan, suicide by rail requires one's family to pay fines. I do not want that.
Hopefully someone can reply with a method that fits all the above criteria. Again, I do not want to see bullshit replies.
Thank you.
