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+---- Thread: Thoughts on polyamory? (/Thread-Thoughts-on-polyamory)
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Thoughts on polyamory? - Inori - 05-21-2020
What are SL's thoughts on polyamory and non-monogamous/open relationships?
I've been exploring what I really want out of my personal relationships this year, and being honest to my long distance partner about wanting sex and affection from other people has been fun for the sake of hookups, duh :p, but it also led me to meet my boyfriend and our other partner. The three of us have been isolating together for most of quarantine; it's given us time to learn how to communicate with and support each other, and between them and my other partner I feel more secure and able to grow than I did in any monogamous relationship I had before.
I could take paragraphs to deconstruct why I get called a slut or a dyke for like, having green hair and liking sex, but even that aside, why is there so much stigma around being open and fucking who you want and having multiple partners given the positive experiences so many people get out of poly relationships?
As a little afterward, hi, I didn't know where else to write about this in long format and I've been thinking about posting here again for a bit. And my friends are probably tired of hearing me babble about it :p
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Dismas - 05-21-2020
Had friends that were. Not my cup of tea, but if it works for you and your partners are happy - good for you.
Fun Fact: Wonder Woman exists because of her creator's (William Marston) polyamorous relationship.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Defeat - 05-21-2020
If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself, 9.9/10 poly will have you fucked up, it's unnatural.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Drako - 05-21-2020
I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. That's my opinion though. Your life, your decision.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Inori - 05-21-2020
(05-21-2020, 01:54 AM)Strait McCool Wrote: If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself, 9.9/10 poly will have you fucked up, it's unnatural.
(05-21-2020, 03:11 AM)Drako Wrote: I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. That's my opinion though. Your life, your decision.
This is the narrative I'm trying to challenge though, why is a committed polycule implicitly any more "unnatural" or unstable compared to a Western, Catholic and State influenced, life partner monogamous relationship?
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - mothered - 05-21-2020
It's not something that I'd personally be Involved In but at the end of the day, as long as It makes you happy, then that's all that matters.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Dismas - 05-21-2020
(05-21-2020, 03:16 AM)Inori Wrote:(05-21-2020, 01:54 AM)Strait McCool Wrote: If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself, 9.9/10 poly will have you fucked up, it's unnatural.
(05-21-2020, 03:11 AM)Drako Wrote: I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. That's my opinion though. Your life, your decision.
This is the narrative I'm trying to challenge though, why is a committed polycule implicitly any more "unnatural" or unstable compared to a Western, Catholic and State influenced, life partner monogamous relationship?
Monogamy is normalized because it's simpler. Legislation and taxes also play a role.
When you're dealing with multiple people, a lot goes into ensuring the emotional needs of everyone involved are met. Guys normally have a problem keeping just one woman happy, so I really wouldn't recommend polyamory to the average person. The more people you add to the equation, the more dynamic things become.
The polyamorous friends I had were very sexual people. Selfishness/jealousy were recurring themes and they only remained polyamorous about 2-3 years. Not saying that will be the case for you, but you should consider whether the relationships you're forming will be long-term or entirely sexual.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Defeat - 05-21-2020
(05-21-2020, 03:16 AM)Inori Wrote:I can't refer to any documents right this moment, but my friend did a nice presentation on it, but it seems like splitting partners and having children is where the true havoc comes in because more often than not, not only do the partner(s) get jealous and feel devalued but so do the younger children ruining their lives in the process. The research seems to go dodgy due to limitations, but this article seems to do a neat overview.(05-21-2020, 01:54 AM)Strait McCool Wrote: If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself, 9.9/10 poly will have you fucked up, it's unnatural.
(05-21-2020, 03:11 AM)Drako Wrote: I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. That's my opinion though. Your life, your decision.
This is the narrative I'm trying to challenge though, why is a committed polycule implicitly any more "unnatural" or unstable compared to a Western, Catholic and State influenced, life partner monogamous relationship?
If it's outside marriage and no children are involved, why commit to the titles (partner, bf/gf, etc...). I'm a huge Kevin Gates fan and his marriage is interesting because it seems to be decent, but I think there a very few that can manage to separate sex, feelings and love (usually the downfall it seems). I know I can't personally, but to each their own.
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Dismas - 05-21-2020
(05-21-2020, 05:30 AM)Strait McCool Wrote:(05-21-2020, 03:16 AM)Inori Wrote:I can't refer to any documents right this moment, but my friend did a nice presentation on it, but it seems like splitting partners and having children is where the true havoc comes in because more often than not, not only do the partner(s) get jealous and feel devalued but so do the younger children ruining their lives in the process. The research seems to go dodgy due to limitations, but this article seems to do a neat overview.(05-21-2020, 01:54 AM)Strait McCool Wrote: If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself, 9.9/10 poly will have you fucked up, it's unnatural.
(05-21-2020, 03:11 AM)Drako Wrote: I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. That's my opinion though. Your life, your decision.
This is the narrative I'm trying to challenge though, why is a committed polycule implicitly any more "unnatural" or unstable compared to a Western, Catholic and State influenced, life partner monogamous relationship?
If it's outside marriage and no children are involved, why commit to the titles (partner, bf/gf, etc...). I'm a huge Kevin Gates fan and his marriage is interesting because it seems to be decent, but I think there a very few that can manage to separate sex, feelings and love (usually the downfall it seems). I know I can't personally, but to each their own.
When it comes to kids, Marston (the creator of Wonder Woman) actually had two partners. Both of his partners bore children but had different responsibilities in the family. In the end you're talking about a lot of hormones when sex, emotion, and love are all involved. That is only exacerbated when women are pregnant or children are brought into the equation. It worked for Marson, but I don't think it'd work for most people.
Interesting book, though you could probably find a synopsis somewhere:
https://books.google.com/books?id=9W6LDQAAQBAJ
RE: Thoughts on polyamory? - Mercury1989 - 05-21-2020
I feel like it's unnatural, and an excuse to live out a fantasy. If you're young, just stay single and enjoy yourself.