+- Sinisterly (https://sinister.ly)
+-- Forum: General (https://sinister.ly/Forum-General)
+--- Forum: The Lounge (https://sinister.ly/Forum-The-Lounge)
+---- Forum: Serious Discussion (https://sinister.ly/Forum-Serious-Discussion)
+---- Thread: Men's mental health thread. (/Thread-Men-s-mental-health-thread)
RE: Men's mental health thread. - z4plin - 08-20-2022
(08-20-2022, 01:22 AM)Kaz Wrote:(08-19-2022, 10:26 PM)Canadian Moose Wrote:(08-19-2022, 08:19 PM)Kaz Wrote: Seems a stupidity, but im struggling so much with my gf, she lives on another city ( 150 km away from mine ), and every night she goes partying, the Next morning she tells me she has been talking/dancing and getting invited to drink by other dudes, and i feel someday she wont tell me that because she would have done more that that with those dudes. I know i have to trust her, but, when you have came from 2 relationships in which i found she was with other dudes... Its very difficult ( we are making 2 years of relationship on Sunday ).Cut that off. Even up there, she lived in another city and if she was doing that it would've been over a long time ago.
Sorry if this seems like a teenager problem, It really Matters for me, keeps me awake every night she goes partying, i barely sleep 2 hours those days, and the normal days barely 4, and im 20... So imagine how i feel phisically and mentally every day
Shes my 1st love and 1st relationship, i know that if we end here, i Will just die inside... I Will start doing nothing and forget about myself
Difficult situation you have there, getting heartbroken is one of the hardest things anyone can go through, however I believe it is almost IMPERITIVE to a young mans progression in the dating scene and to his self growth/masculinity. You may love her, but you need to keep yourself as your number one priority and if your mental health and ability to provide is diminishing because of ur relationship, then you need to do something before you spiral even more out of control of your mental health. If the love is not being reciprocated you NEED to cut her off as hard as that may be for you.
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Defeat - 08-20-2022
(08-20-2022, 01:22 AM)Kaz Wrote:Awh young love. 99.9% of relationships end buddy, she's harming your self-esteem and your mental health, why stay? Lol there'll be better girls, I promise you that.(08-19-2022, 10:26 PM)Canadian Moose Wrote:(08-19-2022, 08:19 PM)Kaz Wrote: Seems a stupidity, but im struggling so much with my gf, she lives on another city ( 150 km away from mine ), and every night she goes partying, the Next morning she tells me she has been talking/dancing and getting invited to drink by other dudes, and i feel someday she wont tell me that because she would have done more that that with those dudes. I know i have to trust her, but, when you have came from 2 relationships in which i found she was with other dudes... Its very difficult ( we are making 2 years of relationship on Sunday ).Cut that off. Even up there, she lived in another city and if she was doing that it would've been over a long time ago.
Sorry if this seems like a teenager problem, It really Matters for me, keeps me awake every night she goes partying, i barely sleep 2 hours those days, and the normal days barely 4, and im 20... So imagine how i feel phisically and mentally every day
Shes my 1st love and 1st relationship, i know that if we end here, i Will just die inside... I Will start doing nothing and forget about myself
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Kaz - 08-20-2022
Will answer your replies tomorrow, need to sleep something ^^
RE: Men's mental health thread. - mothered - 08-20-2022
(08-20-2022, 01:22 AM)Kaz Wrote: Shes my 1st love and 1st relationship, i know that if we end here, i Will just die inside... I Will start doing nothing and forget about myselfYou've already caused a negative Impact just by thinking along those lines.
Stay positive, be confident and live life by your terms.
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Jidxja - 08-20-2022
(08-20-2022, 05:21 AM)Kaz Wrote: Will answer your replies tomorrow, need to sleep something ^^You have 2 choices, you either let her actions eat you on the inside or you break up with her and die a little on the inside, for like 6 months-1year but you transmute that pain and sadness into motivation, maybe you go gym, you go get some money, and after this period i 1000% guarantee that other females will come into your life, better than her.
Remember, it's not her that's special, it's your love that made her special.
RE: Men's mental health thread. - mothered - 08-20-2022
(08-20-2022, 11:47 AM)Jidxja Wrote: Remember, it's not her that's special, it's your love that made her special.Very well said.
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Andrea Bags - 08-22-2022
(08-20-2022, 12:52 PM)mothered Wrote:oh yeah beautifully written(08-20-2022, 11:47 AM)Jidxja Wrote: Remember, it's not her that's special, it's your love that made her special.Very well said.
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Jidxja - 08-22-2022
thank you very much Mo and Andrea 🥺
RE: Men's mental health thread. - Andrea Bags - 08-23-2022
(08-19-2022, 07:32 PM)LawDogUSA Wrote:would like to see your story, how are you going to self correct?(08-19-2022, 12:30 PM)mothered Wrote: [quote="Andrea Bang" pid='1135408' dateline='1660908081']How many hours do you sleep?
I haven't been sleeping much causing me to show poor performance at work
I only get around 4 hours - my mind Is always active.
This right here^^^^ Is a world a lot of overactive minds, you can call it ADHD, OCD or what not, and if I remember Mothered, you were like me and things like High School, just got in our way, almost too boring, and I had to get out and do, do, do! My mind goes like crazy, and I can vouch for Mothered on the 4 hours of sleep every day, because he is always here and on top of his game! I get 4 -5 hours, my bad thing is routine, and that is key, same time and same amount. Unfortunately, my career forced me to rotate and then extend those hours into days, and then back. When I self-correct, that is the first thing I do, sleep routine. Eating healthy and hydration, exercise, and some me time. I'm hoping to start another self-correct soon.
Can you tell I have been up for 24 + I can shut up. I'm going to jump off here and grab some sleep, I think. I will post a bio of myself for the OP and let's get me dialed in on life.
This is an awesome thread, I can't see how it shouldn't always be around, it's so vital.
And to OP Jidxja, I owe my life to Sinisterly, Mothered, Oni, Moose, others.... I didn't come here a few years back in a good place, and as they have heard me say it, and I will continue to, I was helped here in life and living again, and I became a better man than I ever thought possible. They had their A game on, and never let me fall. I'm so honored.
Much Love - G
RE: Men's mental health thread. - LawDogUSA - 08-23-2022
(08-19-2022, 10:25 PM)Jidxja Wrote:(08-19-2022, 10:23 PM)Canadian Moose Wrote: Well, I deleted the thread but essentially someone gave me and my family COVID before I left for my family vacation. I started to speak with her again but just ghosted her. I know she didn't mean to do that, but I was still upset and it didn't make much sense for me to continue seeing her feeling that way. She was pretty cool too but meh, it is what it is.I'd say it wasn't meant to be and yeah, I feel you, the relationshiop between you and that person can never be the same after that.
(08-19-2022, 12:21 PM)Andrea Bang Wrote: I haven't been sleeping much causing me to show poor performance at workmelatonin doesn't do shit for me but a good weed gummy hits the spot.
I hope that you and your family are good and healthy now, noone had any severe complications or something
Moose -- That is very confusing. Let me just say something, I don't think she GAVE you and your Family Covid, you said it wasn't on purpose, and there is a divide with Covid, people care about it and others don't, But Moose you said some important things, you came back from vacation you started to speak with her again, but ghosted her, and then you say that she was a cool chick.
Moose are you sure you don't still like her and value her as a friend at least. I hope I'm not out of line, but I want the best you! it sounded like you sabotaged the relationship with a pretty cool chick, based on catching Covid which she did not give on purpose. You should not have been upset Moose, that's not fair to her and to you Moose. No relationship is easy, they all take work and communication. I can honestly say that out of all the women I know, not many fall into that pretty cool chick category. I haven't met too many that I could say are pretty cool.
Moose from what you wrote, you didn't treat her fairly, and that's fine if you want her out of your life. But man, I would go get her, and hang with her, if she's cool, she's cool, and that's a woman to be with. Try it and work on it. Would you rather go through life, knowing you had a cool chick and let her go, like you would or would not regret ghosting and leaving her. What do you have to lose? If there are relationship things going on with you, you can either work on them or not, OP stated that too, you have to want to change and get better at what it is that's going on. Sounds like a cool chick to try it with.
Moose - I will always have your back! And I have done things and let some very good ones go. I had no interest after this divorce of mine started. But I bumped into a pretty cool chick (and I remember you called her a cool chick when you referenced her) and this cool chick became my best friend, and more, now she's a royal pain in the ass don't get me wrong, but she's still a cool chick and I can be me and she's sticking by me.
OP made reference to helping people, and me and my lady can be complete opposite in things, but I help her and she helps me, tremendously, we are helping each other, each step of the way,..... and its one day at a time.
I don't like being alone, like in life, there's nothing wrong either way, but there's a huge comfort in her, I'm glad she's here. She loves me for who I am......and she SEs the shit out of everything!
Only here saying these things to help, it just caught my attention what you said. And whatever makes you Happy is cool by me.
G
(08-19-2022, 08:19 PM)Kaz Wrote: Seems a stupidity, but im struggling so much with my gf, she lives on another city ( 150 km away from mine ), and every night she goes partying, the Next morning she tells me she has been talking/dancing and getting invited to drink by other dudes, and i feel someday she wont tell me that because she would have done more that that with those dudes. I know i have to trust her, but, when you have came from 2 relationships in which i found she was with other dudes... Its very difficult ( we are making 2 years of relationship on Sunday ).
Sorry if this seems like a teenager problem, It really Matters for me, keeps me awake every night she goes partying, i barely sleep 2 hours those days, and the normal days barely 4, and im 20... So imagine how i feel phisically and mentally every day
Kaz - this isn't stupid or a teen problem. You even said it matters to you, so it matters to us. This is a little tough, and it sounds like you really like her and she's into you also. Guys are always going to hit on women, do you trust her? Sounds like you do, and if you want to continue with this relationship, you have to trust her, but she and you will make mistakes, but you can't dwell on things that will probably never happen, what good does that do you, its wasting your thoughts and time, trashing your sleep and it may all be for nothing. How about you turn that worry into hope, hope on positive things.
Out of all the guys in the world, who does she come to, YOU! And if it feels right to you, then you have to try. Better to try than not, relationships aren't easy to line up. Don't compare the past to this one, its unique. Some worry is ok and normal, but it can't consume you and the relationship, worry because you care about her, and that's what being in a relationship is about. There are some people who are in a relationship and don't give a shit. Shes coming home to you Bro! Thats an awesome feeling, so enjoy the good with her.
We are here for you Bro - G