(08-28-2021, 04:32 PM)Monolith Wrote: Its basic human behaviour, everyone expect something from each other but nice guys everytime tries to meet their expectations, and in course of time this nice behaviour of yours stops perceived as "being nice and kind" and it starts to being your "must do". So a rude person can be rude they will dgaf about it but when a rude person shows kindness they will see it as a blessing literally like a naughty dog which got reward/treat for its good acts but again no one will care what good boi doing because it should be "good boi" as its his "default"

as example humans perceive everything "normal" after awhile, so at somewhere nice and bad persons are equal. Difference starts to show itself when they except more from nice person, bad persons dont need to do a thing because they even barely meet others exceptation. People act like dogs to him and in the end if their exceptations met they orgasm because its hard gained satisfaction from bad guy while they dont need to do something special for nice person he already doing everything they want (The hard way is the sweetest when you succed as example think about cheating on a single player game it will be boring really easy right ?)

Lets get back to why people except more and more from nice persons simply we are greedy creatures cause "good act" doesn't come as a reward but a free service if it's free why would he stop ? even in child development, if you give the child everything he wants, it's %100 that you raised a spoilt and cheeky bastard that gonna blame you if you fail to meet his exceptations. You should have rules, you need to keep your place in hierarchy. Otherwise even if it's your child won't hesitate to walk over you. If your "nice being" isn't a reward they will want it more and more and in the end when your power isnt enought to satisfy them you will become the "bad" person here and they will get rid of you as a result

And i dont agree with people that said you cant control them you actually can. No one has a fixed character it changes when you talk to a judge, or simply to authorities. It changes again when you talking with your neighbours and it changes when you are all alone. Lets look to that from judge's point of view you can't do something considered bad in front of judge because there is consequences and its unconsciously affects all of us. Lets take a normal man you just met as example you cant treat him like your friends because you dont know how he will react, you dont know his boundaries and these are all determines how you treat this man. But if he just being nice and remains silent when someone swearing to him then its allowed to curse him. If he let that happen once there will be second and third and four one for sure cause there is no consequences. he has no boundaries, he has no rules, so you can do whatever you want to him, he is just being quiet. If we consider the opposite that he stand up and fuck the guy who curse him in the ass then let alone swearing he even cant talk shit to him. Well the last one is an extremist approaching but i experienced this before. The problem is nicest ones is the easiest to abuse and manipulate. When he thinks about well being of people, people dgaf about him, they want more and more, when it comes to the rate that nice guy cant satisfy them they just simply get rid of him, and this starts a trauma on nice people they unconsciously thinks that they need to satisfy people and trying harder and harder on their next relationships it devours them from inside

so my answer is if people are the ones who determines that worth, yes they are worthless, it's a good thing but no one should be nice just dgaf about others. You only live once and dont waste your time for others, even you can waste theirs for your well being no one is more important than you, maybe they can call you bad, but who cares? if you are happy then its okay

(08-30-2021, 12:03 AM)Num5kull Wrote: XD There is no social value in being 'nice' it requires no investment mentally or physicaly on behalf of the other party. Everyone loves an asshole. They make you work for 'nice' and therefore it is worth something.
Have a nice day

(08-31-2021, 08:54 PM)Tibo Inc Wrote: @d4ggm4sk

My personal view on this is there is no right or wrong answer. I believe people like “assholes” because they take, do and say what they want. They exude confidence because of it. I don’t have kids or anything so I see myself as the single most important person there is.

Some people might say that’s narcissistic, but it has been proved that self preservation is the strongest force on earth, contrary to popular belief it isn’t love.  (I can link articles about this).

I’ve accepted that self preservation and so called narcissism is the way to progress and have done things to further myself and my wants that I knew would screw someone over. And I still did it.

There’s no good or bad people it’s just your world view. I recognise myself as the most important person so I would be considered an asshole because of it. But realistically no one actually gets that far being kind to everyone. Your always going to be screwed over by someone else, so you may aswell screw them first and further your cause.

(09-01-2021, 12:52 AM)Drako Wrote: I think you're just having a hard time understanding women. Some women like men who just assert themselves, do whatever they want, and have complete disregard for other people. Those same women also end up in toxic relationships pathologically. They'll keep chasing bad boys until the end of their days. Others would rather you be delicate, compassionate, and even submissive. And there are some who are in the middle. Due to genetics, everybody is different. You're probably having bad luck.

Kindness is a valuable asset in life. If you've just met someone, or you're trying to maintain a relationship with someone, kindness is key to success. Whether you like it or not. I've watched my Dad do this my entire life, combined with his natural skills to talk to people, to his advantage.

Collaboration is necessary in life. And if you, the asshole finds yourself in a pool of nice people, you'll be the first person out. If everybody was an asshole, society would literally collapse. People favor niceness.

(09-01-2021, 10:28 AM)d4ggm4sk Wrote: do you think that youre submissive if youre kind? ive seen people do that parallell before.

Quote:just like yours why did you ask a question like that why do you think someone is worthless? who do you hate ? yourself for being nice? or just people that make you feel worthless?

(09-01-2021, 12:52 PM)Monolith Wrote:

(09-01-2021, 10:28 AM)d4ggm4sk Wrote: do you think that youre submissive if youre kind? ive seen people do that parallell before.

I want to add that being nice isn't normal. Being bad and nice, they are just two faces of a same card, think about depression they consider if someone is very sad it's a sickness and need to be treated but what about very happy people? What makes them healthy? can't someone just be sad as a character trait ? everyone acts like sadness shouldn't exist but without it happiness can't exist just like hate and love. However problem starts when people leaning to one side of this cards

If someone go all love this doesnt mean he dont has hate at all, he is, and most probably more than the others, just supressed. but supressed things one day surely comes out but comes out bigger than it is. Just like water it is mostly harmless but with pressure it can cut metal, we are humans we have our limits one should hate too it is completely natural but if you supress hate if you ignore hate it will just help it to grow bigger.

just like yours why did you ask a question like that why do you think someone is worthless? who do you hate ? yourself for being nice? or just people that make you feel worthless?

i was nice too,i was letting them use me, mock me, beat me but one day in school someone came with 2 girls and said do you want me to beat him? it was the time that i started to fight before that i was just pushing them back. However i wasnt aware that i have a hatred towards them but it just come out and i started to beat him, even after he passed out, i was just attacking like an animal. These 2 girls called a teacher, he came and took me to principal but they blamed me, acted like i was guilty(cause it is my duty to be "nice"). But i thought "it was fun, it gave me pleasure." after that i just started beat them but still letting them use and mock me i stopped these when someone tried to put all blame on me on a serious thing(its a long story and i dont trust my english to explain properly) i was still like 13-14 but there was chance to put me on jail so i just tell them everything and thought "i need to take my revenge" then tomorrow, i went back and added some lies to make sure he suffer for what he did and he expelled from formal education and again i thought "it was fun, it gave me pleasure" i quit let them use me and guess what ? they just started to mock me even more because now i was useless for them, their perception even reached to teachers. I was going to psychologist back then, she suggested an iq test, i took the test and turned out its higher than average human. aaand here comes arrogance "I" started to mock them not just that i was trying to oppress them. With that i just completely lost my control all my drives become make them obey, make them feel inferior, make them worthless not want them to feel worthless i literally started to ruin their relationships nice or bad person it wasnt important to me. When i think now, its really like revenge, even from innocent people. This behaviour of mine took a long time before i quit.

I did very bad things back then, but i left everything good about me even my stopping force wasn't good like "they did nothing to me" it was more like "You are superior why are you wasting your time with them?" cause i noticed i did everything for "them", i wanted to seen superior by "them" them, them, them and them. Well noticing that was enough for me to stop my raging but not for good reasons i just started to think like "you dont need their approval you are already superior" well im not trying to hurt people rn, i just dont care anyone, like i wont help even if he/she dying and im still a arrogant bitch xD For now im just trying to be neutral

So dont supress yourself, dont let them make everything. Maybe it's dont bother you right now but it doesn't mean it won't. I pretty much regret. When i was raging i was thought like "im not letting them" well quite opposite i just let them shape my whole character you can hear about nice people that stayed nice they are just lucky enough or mentally ill(this is why i talked about depression humans perceive depression as sickness but not it's opposite) with enough stress everyone can turn bad there is no exception we are all humans, we have our own limits, psychology works same for all of us.