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+---- Thread: "No contact" rule (/Thread-No-contact-rule)
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"No contact" rule - Inori - 05-15-2017
For the uninitiated, the no contact rule is more or less "don't communicate with ex-partners" (e.g. texting, social media, grabbing lunch or coffee, etc), but does anyone actually abide by it?
My order of events following a breakup is usually: be pissed/regretful/whatever for a month or two, developing a bit of a grudge, then realize I'm being stupid and/or childish, ditch the grudge, and start talking with them again. It's gone fine for me regardless of the terms I break up on, and the worst that's come out of it is the ex and I stop talking.
I don't know, what do you guys think? Personally, I think actively avoiding someone forever is kind of immature, especially if the relationship didn't end on good terms (sort that shit out), but I'd love to hear some legitimate reasons as to why people do it.
RE: "No contact" rule - Asura - 05-15-2017
Personally, I cut off all forms of communications with them. This may sound messed up but I actually let go of people whether it is romantic or friendship pretty quickly after the relationship ends. I usually get called out as "someone who doesn't care" when that happens however but due to all the things that happened in my life, it just made me become who I am now which is why I am not as that attached. I guess the better term is that I've learned to accept whatever happens and move on. I may express emotions, affections and such but when things end, it's final for me. I purge everything without questions and hesitations. If the person wants to start over, I am still up for that but that depends on the reason why the relationship ended in the first place though. I could probably even be married for years and if there were to be a divorce, I still would most likely move on quickly.
I usually leave if there isn't a change in the relationship. I was in a relationship that was pretty one-sided. I talked with them of how I felt about the relationship and as to why I felt that way. Since then, nothing changed so I left and now in a better relationship. I always confront the person before I leave.
I can understand your reasoning, Inori. I try to sort things out before leaving but if there is no effort from the other, then there is no reason for me to stay.
RE: "No contact" rule - ElevatorToHeaven - 06-19-2017
(05-15-2017, 09:59 PM)Inori Wrote: For the uninitiated, the no contact rule is more or less "don't communicate with ex-partners" (e.g. texting, social media, grabbing lunch or coffee, etc), but does anyone actually abide by it?
My order of events following a breakup is usually: be pissed/regretful/whatever for a month or two, developing a bit of a grudge, then realize I'm being stupid and/or childish, ditch the grudge, and start talking with them again. It's gone fine for me regardless of the terms I break up on, and the worst that's come out of it is the ex and I stop talking.
I don't know, what do you guys think? Personally, I think actively avoiding someone forever is kind of immature, especially if the relationship didn't end on good terms (sort that shit out), but I'd love to hear some legitimate reasons as to why people do it.
I am an extremely emotional person and somewhat of a push-over. So when my ex contacts me saying "I never treated her right", i feel the need to prove myself.
RE: "No contact" rule - Defeat - 06-19-2017
You have to let go of them or you're doing yourself a disservice. I've learned this from experience. You only stay in the slump the more you keep them in mind.
RE: "No contact" rule - Blink - 06-19-2017
I would say that this seems dumb... But I have absolutely no experience with this or related matters.
RE: "No contact" rule - Skullmeat - 06-20-2017
I personally follow it. If I cut you off you earned it and you simply arent worth my time.
RE: "No contact" rule - zenith - 06-20-2017
I'm friends with most of my exes. I dont see how when one of us says "we were better as friends" and then you just cut eachother off.
Okay I get it, but I believe that we can still be friends.
Only people I have cut off were people who used me. If you don't do that then you good.
RE: "No contact" rule - Defeat - 06-20-2017
Can I be one to point out how weird and awkward it feels to be friends with someone you were deep inside all of the time. Idk if it's immaturity, but to me, I feel like there's no point in ending something so person to re-enter it on another level. If you get what I mean...
RE: "No contact" rule - Oni - 06-20-2017
If you're planning on pursuing a different partner, no point in staying in contact with the previous. This is especially so if you already have better friends. It's weird to go from talking every day to not talking at all, but I prefer it.
RE: "No contact" rule - Jiggly - 06-20-2017
I can honestly say staying in contact can be detrimental. However, I've seen others remain in contact and stay very close friends without any further problems. I think it entirely depends on the nature of the relationship and the personalities of the people involved. You're more than able to tell when you should cut off contact if you're unable to get over somebody and vise versa. Whether people want to follow through, is another thing all together. I would also say, as you get older, you think about and deal with things a little differently. Impulse control is harder as a teenager, so separating yourself could be more challenging at that age.