[FunKx]

I just wanted to open my heart to someone, so I thought of my HC family. Because I just can't bother my friends or family with this shit, you can just not read this if you don't want to, but my close ones cannot just not listen, I just don't want to be heard by the close ones, cuz that would make things even worse.

Have you ever had this feeling, that you don't belong? Well, I do. I'm just exhausted of all this "life" that I pretty much don't have. I'm 18 and all...it should be time to find a job, but I don't want to work, especially in my country. It just sucks so hard here. I don't have a dime to spend on the things I like. Yeah, I am kinda lazy, I am a bad person, very bad actually. And I hate people, I'm just not social. Why I don't want to work all day long for 20$ a day? Simple. Not because I'm lazy or anything...fck that. I know what's out there. I JUST DON'T want to drink the salty sea water, while I see others drinking fresh water. The point is, working my ass off for 20$ a day, while I could cash in by just sitting by my pc and enjoy the benefits of a better life...(for instance)
I meet my friends, I'm not completely unhappy, but when I have to go home...damn, I pray to the universe to end it all. Hoping to get hit by a bus, or just not waking up in the morning. Damn, my only wish is to die, lol. I don't ask much. This bothers me for the past few months. But I can't kill myself, I am just not strong enough to do that. I really hate my family, and I don't love my family...I have no idea what the fck is love and how it feels. But I just can't do suicide, as that would destroy my family and friends...I still care about my little brother. But, what if I got killed? So easy. Pain would go away eventually, and no mysteries to solve for the rest of their lives. You might wonder...how I got this way? Well, shit just got thick. I hate school, I left that shithole 2 years ago, I am kinda stupid when it comes to studies. But I am wise. Some people just don't see it. Although, I am not social, I study people alot, I've learned to manipulate with every individual and I know what they think about me. I like the way I think, but others don't. Soo, that kinda pisses me of too...nothing is good. I used to believe in myself, thought that I gonna make it to the top someday. Now that believing is gone, I know, I ain't gonna be shit. So the only way out is dieing by an accident.

Actually, scieentists are claiming that they have proven that afterlife exists...I mean, there's no way that it could be worse than this, on the other side.

I just want to be remembered. So someone knows, that once there was a guy named FunKx, he tried, but never got where he should get.

I didn't come for mercy!

Fck me for who I am, but LOVE me for who I could be. /Mac Miller/

Spoiler:

[bluedog.tar.gz]

Its not worth it man.
Actually its good that you share it with us. Talking about it is good and you will hear different views of a story.

My recommendation is to talk with your friends about it and make some time for changes.
Put your ambition in something to make life more interesting.

You will have ups and down all your life.
As I always say.. without downs there are no ups.

Each time we recover from a attack or I make something new for the community i feel good.
Every time we get down or get attacked i feel down.

I don't want to die with having nothing achieved in life.
I life to make the best out of like and expand my knowledge each day.
We want to be remembered as someone who made the best out of life.

[Nailo]

The fuck is wrong with you? yes life is shit and though as fuck , yes you may be pay shit for your hard work! fuck let me tell you where i can from, iam from a fucking third ass world when i was young i work my ass not for money but for food fuck! i was ignorant of everything math,science and life, but one day i decided to feel pity for myself and get MY ASS up and running! i stop caring about what other think of me and i got rid of everything that stop me and it was hard HARD HARD!! and that's part of life FUCK dude fuck! and now i live in the usa, get the fuck up and get real with your self you are 1 of billions sperms that try to become a human you are here for a reason!!! dont come here and type this bullshit this is not you its your age and the feelings that come with it this is not Funkx, its a fucking loser that knows no to bound to reality and whats to kill you, i know this because i had try to kill myself 3 years ago thankfully i survived, so plz rethink about you and you goals you are special and 1 of billion special bro plz dont do anything Idiotic life is wonderful when you see it with clear eyes and quit that shit that you do(smoke) YOU know what iam talking about. iam been real bro its tough love.

[KrYsp4rk]

Don't do it, bro. As bluedog said, it's not worth it.

I could mention like 3 days I had. It was like this : I went to school, and everything was normal like always. But suddenly, and I swear I had no clue why, like the whole class started laughing about me and calling me some really bad things, and after school some guys stood in front of my school waiting me to come out and just kick my arse. I really thought that i have no more social life. Then came the weekend, i still was really shocked about it, and went to school with fear because of those guys, but when I arrived, nothing such horrible happened and I was so fkin reliefed... Maybe it isn't like really similar to your situation, but my advice is : Rattle yourself up and think (at least TRY to think) positive and just live day after day, and it possibly may then go in the good after a while. Try to do your best to earn some money. As bluedog said, "without downs there are no ups." But i probably write nonsense, cuz i'm just a kid yet, i don't know too much about such things.

But, if you still do it (and i pray that it won't come so far), it will be a huge loss for us all. In my eyes, you are a great person.

[FunKx]

The fudge is wrong with you? yes life is shit and though as fudge , yes you may be pay shit for your hard work! fudge let me tell you where i can from, iam from a fucking third ass world when i was young i work my ass not for money but for food fudge! i was ignorant of everything math,science and life, but one day i decided to feel pity for myself and get MY ASS up and running! i stop caring about what other think of me and i got rid of everything that stop me and it was hard HARD HARD!! and that's part of life fudge dude fudge! and now i live in the usa, get the fudge up and get real with your self you are 1 of billions sperms that try to become a human you are here for a reason!!! dont come here and type this bullshit this is not you its your age and the feelings that come with it this is not Funkx, its a fucking loser that knows no to bound to reality and whats to kill you, i know this because i had try to kill myself 3 years ago thankfully i survived, so plz rethink about you and you goals you are special and 1 of billion special bro plz dont do anything Idiotic life is wonderful when you see it with clear eyes and quit that shit that you do(smoke) YOU know what iam talking about. iam been real bro its tough love.

Well, congrats to you, man! You made it. Yeah, we all are different, we all think different, we do stuff different. I see you know the system, but fck! You don't see it the way I do, because we think and we see different. I ain't bitching. Maybe, I will change some day. And that shit I'm smokin'... that's the shit, that makes me think, and that's the shit that makes me smile from time, to time. And yes, I am a fckin loser, I admit that. There are and will always be losers and winers, everyone can't win, you know. Things would go fckin insane if everyone could be winers.

Don't do it, bro. As bluedog said, it's not worth it.

I could mention like 3 days I had. It was like this : I went to school, and everything was normal like always. But suddenly, and I swear I had no clue why, like the whole class started laughing about me and calling me some really bad things, and after school some guys stood in front of my school waiting me to come out and just kick my arse. I really thought that i have no more social life. Then came the weekend, i still was really shocked about it, and went to school with fear because of those guys, but when I arrived, nothing such horrible happened and I was so fkin reliefed... Maybe it isn't like really similar to your situation, but my advice is : Rattle yourself up and think (at least TRY to think) positive and just live day after day, and it possibly may then go in the good after a while. Try to do your best to earn some money. As bluedog said, "without downs there are no ups." But i probably write nonsense, cuz i'm just a kid yet, i don't know too much about such things.

But, if you still do it (and i pray that it won't come so far), it will be a huge loss for us all. In my eyes, you are a great person.

You'll get to know life soon. Good that those guys didn't kick your ass. Otherwise, I should go and fck em up.

[LightX]

I know how you feel man. I have been going through hell for the past 6 years. It all started when my parents got divorced in 4th grade. I am home schooled because I had friends at school who weren't good for me, and the rest of the school was a douche to me. I got tired of the bullying, so i finally said that I want to be home schooled. Now, I have like 5 friends at my church. 3 of them are friends with me because they have to be. (i work with them there) I had a few more until literally last night. around 1 in the morning, i was texting 2 of them (both girls) and one of them got mad at me a few days ago, but I blew up. She thought i was drunk because I was actually happy (because this never happens). now she is mad at me for something i did in the past. the other one, who is the only friend that i really trusted) blew up on me last night. long story short, she will not be talking to me for quite some time. I have felt alone since i was in 5th grade. I started failing my classes. No matter how hard i try, i cant pass them. im now a junior in high school still failing. i dont live with my dad any more because i have problems with his wife. i have felt alone since my parents got a divorce. i have gone to counciling, i have talked to "friends" who turned up not being friends, so now i sit on my computer all day. I like to say that i can hack because at least i feel like i can do something, but really, i cant. i just skid, i can barely say that i can do that. I do GFX because it is easy and people want it, so it makes me feel wanted. i have felt the same way about dying as you, dont think that way. its not worth it. and me being a christian, of course i believe in an afterlife that will be perfect. I have really wanted this one to end so i can be happy, but i dont know. its not that i want to kill myself or die, its that i..well i dont know.

[Nailo]

The fudge is wrong with you? yes life is shit and though as fudge , yes you may be pay shit for your hard work! fudge let me tell you where i can from, iam from a fucking third ass world when i was young i work my ass not for money but for food fudge! i was ignorant of everything math,science and life, but one day i decided to feel pity for myself and get MY ASS up and running! i stop caring about what other think of me and i got rid of everything that stop me and it was hard HARD HARD!! and that's part of life fudge dude fudge! and now i live in the usa, get the fudge up and get real with your self you are 1 of billions sperms that try to become a human you are here for a reason!!! dont come here and type this bullshit this is not you its your age and the feelings that come with it this is not Funkx, its a fucking loser that knows no to bound to reality and whats to kill you, i know this because i had try to kill myself 3 years ago thankfully i survived, so plz rethink about you and you goals you are special and 1 of billion special bro plz dont do anything Idiotic life is wonderful when you see it with clear eyes and quit that shit that you do(smoke) YOU know what iam talking about. iam been real bro its tough love.

Well, congrats to you, man! You made it. Yeah, we all are different, we all think different, we do stuff different. I see you know the system, but fck! You don't see it the way I do, because we think and we see different. I ain't bitching. Maybe, I will change some day. And that shit I'm smokin'... that's the shit, that makes me think, and that's the shit that makes me smile from time, to time. And yes, I am a fckin loser, I admit that. There are and will always be losers and winers, everyone can't win, you know. Things would go fckin insane if everyone could be winers.

Don't do it, bro. As bluedog said, it's not worth it.

I could mention like 3 days I had. It was like this : I went to school, and everything was normal like always. But suddenly, and I swear I had no clue why, like the whole class started laughing about me and calling me some really bad things, and after school some guys stood in front of my school waiting me to come out and just kick my arse. I really thought that i have no more social life. Then came the weekend, i still was really shocked about it, and went to school with fear because of those guys, but when I arrived, nothing such horrible happened and I was so fkin reliefed... Maybe it isn't like really similar to your situation, but my advice is : Rattle yourself up and think (at least TRY to think) positive and just live day after day, and it possibly may then go in the good after a while. Try to do your best to earn some money. As bluedog said, "without downs there are no ups." But i probably write nonsense, cuz i'm just a kid yet, i don't know too much about such things.

But, if you still do it (and i pray that it won't come so far), it will be a huge loss for us all. In my eyes, you are a great person.

You'll get to know life soon. Good that those guys didn't kick your ass. Otherwise, I should go and fck em up.

its just though love bro and i feel sorry if you feel that way like i said i manage to hurt my self and ended up in the hospital from not rethinking and value what i had instead of wishing what i did had and what i was not. dont do something stupid.

[KrYsp4rk]

Everyone has had such a phase (or more than one), but that is what makes us to people. That is one little thing what makes us more or less equal to each other.

[unixbreak]

i hate this emo threads but here's for you>> you must follow the normal steps in life that means at one point have to start working like the others do. you can start from 20$ / day and if you dont want to spend all your life working for that money .. invest them in you .. in your ideas. give life to every idea u have. one of them will make you rich one day.
Keep the faith and try harder otherway u will be just an ordinary emo and your life wont change !
head up life's a precious gift

[FunKx]

i hate this emo threads but here's for you>> you must follow the normal steps in life that means at one point have to start working like the others do. you can start from 20$ / day and if you dont want to spend all your life working for that money .. invest them in you .. in your ideas. give life to every idea u have. one of them will make you rich one day.
Keep the faith and try harder otherway u will be just an ordinary emo and your life wont change !
head up life's a precious gift

Emo? You obviously don't know me. That's why I don't usually tell people my problems. You all are kinda strangers to me, so I don't give a fck. People are just not trust worthy.