[Infinitum]

This Is not good at all.

Seek help from friends, family and those who stopped you. If they cared enough to do that, they care enough about you as a person.

@Infinitum and anyone else for that matter, please know that you are loved. You are needed in someone's life. If you are ever having thoughts of harming yourself, there is help available. Bookmark this http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ , save this number 1-800-273-8255, use their chat feature on the website. Do whatever it takes.

As said, thanks for the tips (which I already knew before, and I still don't live in America but thanks) but I do not have the power to do it so I will probably not do it. Don't contradict my logic pls

Not trying to contradict anyone's logic. Just reminding you that you're loved. We care about you, I care about you.

I know you're going through something difficult, and I'm not going to say "I know how it feels man" because I don't. But for what it's worth, I want you to know that I'll be thinking about you.

thanks for not being a hypocrite. I'll try being useful on here.

[Jiggly]

I wonder if a functional medicine doctor may be better for you, although there may be limited access to such doctors where you are? Functional medicine usually bypasses those issues and also aims to treat problems directly through body functioning as opposed to symptom management. Taking any kind of drug (anti-depressants or other prescribed medicines) can have other side effects. Sometimes they are worth it, and there may not be a better alternative. But other times parts of your body end up depending on it and are unable to function as they should when you take the drug away. If you're able to reach a functional medicine doctor, I would highly recommend it.

Anyway, It sounds like you've come upon some very hard times, and I certainly hope you are able to get to a place of peace sooner rather than later.

I'm going to respond to the second part first. Thanks! I hope it too, I hope to have peace of mind on all this as soon as possible.
For the first part, I don't know what functional medicine is, as I'm not in USA. I'd probably also not have the money for the moment. I didn't go to school (well, around 4-5 days in 5 weeks) nor did I really work. I'm now trying to focus 1: on the medical treatment conceived by the hospital I got hosted at, and 2. Try getting in physical form again. I've gone to alternative medicine, normal one, so I'm kinda tired and pissed off so I'll finish this treatment before doing anything else.

I was under the impression functional medicine was elsewhere in the world, but I have limited knowledge as to its accessibility. It's a type of practice that aims to help you essentially by making you healthier overall. I understand though, I don't think I have easy or affordable access to it in the US even. I'm quite accustomed to the NHS of the UK, so having limited access to these things is new to me. It sounds like you're working at it, which is good. I wish you the best of luck with this treatment, and I hope you don't have to jump around to other types.