[LawDogUSA]

[quote="Andrea Bang" pid='1135408' dateline='1660908081']
I haven't been sleeping much causing me to show poor performance at work

How many hours do you sleep?

I only get around 4 hours - my mind Is always active.


This right here^^^^ Is a world a lot of overactive minds, you can call it ADHD, OCD or what not, and if I remember Mothered, you were like me and things like High School, just got in our way, almost too boring, and I had to get out and do, do, do!  My mind goes like crazy, and I can vouch for Mothered on the 4 hours of sleep every day, because he is always here and on top of his game!  I get 4 -5 hours, my bad thing is routine, and that is key, same time and same amount.  Unfortunately, my career forced me to rotate and then extend those hours into days, and then back.  When I self-correct, that is the first thing I do, sleep routine.  Eating healthy and hydration, exercise, and some me time.  I'm hoping to start another self-correct soon.

Can you tell I have been up for 24 + I can shut up.  I'm going to jump off here and grab some sleep, I think.  I will post a bio of myself for the OP and let's get me dialed in on life.

This is an awesome thread, I can't see how it shouldn't always be around, it's so vital.

And to OP Jidxja, I owe my life to Sinisterly, Mothered, Oni, Moose, others.... I didn't come here a few years back in a good place, and as they have heard me say it, and I will continue to, I was helped here in life and living again, and I became a better man than I ever thought possible.  They had their A game on, and never let me fall.  I'm so honored.

Much Love - G

would like to see your story, how are you going to self-correct?

Part of my story is on here, I believe you can see my threads in my profile and click on them, but this is a nightmare that won't end, I wish this on no one, but for me it feels like a bomb went off and I'm starting a second life, literally like I have almost nothing and certainly not where I want to be or where I thought and planned to be.

So with some awesome help from here, and I have kids, I had to reset my goals and priorities, only I can make myself happy, it feels like I'm seriously starting out again, and that I have enough to get by, but I was well ahead of the game before. Getting more focused on me took the anger away, and I realized I'm still a role model and my kids need me to be responsible, I need me to be responsible, and there's things I can do to help the situation and I'm doing them slowly. I had to set new goals, like way new goals. And it may sound selfish, but i take care of me first a lot.

You know that song "One" by Metallica , that was me, it wasn't a good thing or place, it is actually haunting a bit. It's definitely not me. I laid out a bit of it here and thank goodness I did. It showed me and taught me that I have to align myself with good people, the right ones, and tomorrow matters. I can't change the past and I don't control what others do or say, I react to it and if its negative, try to eliminate that out of my life. It's hard when that negative comes from family and things you love. I have to try, and keep trying, because the only time we fail, is when we quit. And if I can carry on, why wouldn't I try? When I did things began to line up better, and positives came, and next thing I know is I'm in a place better than before and it's just going to get better, because new goals, and I set fun ones, and I can be who I want to be now, and a lot of it is on my time.

There are still some major things in the way, but I chip at them.

And honestly there's some bad days, not many, but I feel swept over like I want to do absolutely nothing and there's a feeling of dread. It goes away, but I have to work on those things. The past is like this, you burry the don't problems, negatives, they are still there, but you don't dwell on them, and if you really need them, you go dig them up, by the time you are done digging, you don't need them anymore, and you find out that this things may have shaped you, but they dont have to define you, YOU define you, YOU make yourself happy. Storms pass and the sun will shine again. Live life on your terms @mothered

- You have to be able to take care of yourself, one very important thing is, you have to be able to step out of the box and look in and self-evaluate, imagine what you would tell your brother or best friend if they were going through the same thing, what advice or what would you want from them or expect them to do? If you do that you hit a major milestone that is so easy to get and we control, it. You self-evaluate like that, you know you are getting the most honest opinion because its you, you are acknowledging there is something going on and you are fixing it at the same time, it helps put positive thoughts inside your mind and thats an awesome seed to plant because that positive will grow and grow and eventually eliminate those negatives.

And seeing a therapist or counselor, dr, etc. is not ever a bad thing, I haven't met one person who could not benefit from getting some help. The key to that is finding the right one and getting that comfort.

Keep asking, I will tackle as much as I can. I can already see that you are going to get some of the best advice and wisdom.

G

---

@"Jidxja" Awesome stuff bro, absolutely great stuff, I have been answering some and reading more, I have some catching up to do, and I'll get to your responses in a bit, very well put thoughts and wisdom. I'm honored

@mothered I quoted you in a few responses, wanted to give you props!

Ill get back on in a bit - I don't know what I did but it looks like some replies are connected! (im a goof)

G

[Defeat]

Well, I deleted the thread but essentially someone gave me and my family COVID before I left for my family vacation. I started to speak with her again but just ghosted her. I know she didn't mean to do that, but I was still upset and it didn't make much sense for me to continue seeing her feeling that way. She was pretty cool too but meh, it is what it is.

---

melatonin doesn't do shit for me but a good weed gummy hits the spot.

I'd say it wasn't meant to be and yeah, I feel you, the relationshiop between you and that person can never be the same after that.
I hope that you and your family are good and healthy now, noone had any severe complications or something

Moose -- That is very confusing.  Let me just say something, I don't think she GAVE you and your Family Covid, you said it wasn't on purpose, and there is a divide with Covid, people care about it and others don't,  But Moose you said some important things, you came back from vacation you started to speak with her again, but ghosted her, and then you say that she was a cool chick.

Moose are you sure you don't still like her and value her as a friend at least.  I hope I'm not out of line, but I want the best you!  it sounded like you sabotaged the relationship with a pretty cool chick, based on catching Covid which she did not give on purpose.  You should not have been upset Moose, that's not fair to her and to you Moose.  No relationship is easy, they all take work and communication.  I can honestly say that out of all the women I know, not many fall into that pretty cool chick category.  I haven't met too many that I could say are pretty cool. 

Moose from what you wrote, you didn't treat her fairly, and that's fine if you want her out of your life.  But man, I would go get her, and hang with her, if she's cool, she's cool, and that's a woman to be with. Try it and work on it.  Would you rather go through life, knowing you had a cool chick and let her go, like you would or would not regret ghosting and leaving her.  What do you have to lose?  If there are relationship things going on with you, you can either work on them or not, OP stated that too, you have to want to change and get better at what it is that's going on.  Sounds like a cool chick to try it with.

Moose - I will always have your back!  And I have done things and let some very good ones go.  I had no interest after this divorce of mine started.  But I bumped into a pretty cool chick (and I remember you called her a cool chick when you referenced her) and this cool chick became my best friend, and more, now she's a royal pain in the ass don't get me wrong, but she's still a cool chick and I can be me and she's sticking by me.

OP made reference to helping people, and me and my lady can be complete opposite in things, but I help her and she helps me, tremendously, we are helping each other, each step of the way,..... and its one day at a time.

I don't like being alone, like in life, there's nothing wrong either way, but there's a huge comfort in her, I'm glad she's here.  She loves me for who I am......and she SEs the shit out of everything!

Only here saying these things to help, it just caught my attention what you said.  And whatever makes you Happy is cool by me. 

G

---

Seems a stupidity, but im struggling so much with my gf, she lives on another city ( 150 km away from mine ), and every night she goes partying, the Next morning she tells me she has been talking/dancing and getting invited to drink by other dudes, and i feel someday she wont tell me that because she would have done more that that with those dudes. I know i have to trust her, but, when you have came from 2 relationships in which i found she was with other dudes... Its very difficult ( we are making 2 years of relationship on Sunday ).

Sorry if this seems like a teenager problem, It really Matters for me, keeps me awake every night she goes partying, i barely sleep 2 hours those days, and the normal days barely 4, and im 20... So imagine how i feel phisically and mentally every day

Kaz - this isn't stupid or a teen problem.  You even said it matters to you, so it matters to us.  This is a little tough, and it sounds like you really like her and she's into you also.  Guys are always going to hit on women, do you trust her?  Sounds like you do, and if you want to continue with this relationship, you have to trust her, but she and you will make mistakes, but you can't dwell on things that will probably never happen, what good does that do you, its wasting your thoughts and time, trashing your sleep and it may all be for nothing.  How about you turn that worry into hope, hope on positive things.

Out of all the guys in the world, who does she come to, YOU!  And if it feels right to you, then you have to try.  Better to try than not, relationships aren't easy to line up.  Don't compare the past to this one, its unique.  Some worry is ok and normal, but it can't consume you and the relationship, worry because you care about her, and that's what being in a relationship is about.  There are some people who are in a relationship and don't give a shit.  Shes coming home to you Bro!  Thats an awesome feeling, so enjoy the good with her.

We are here for you Bro - G

Hey Law. Thank you for the post. It's always refreshing seeing your posts. It's been quite some time since I spoke to her. I've sent her a message and will see if she responds. At the very least she'd be a decent friend to have. And I agree, not many cool chicks out there that's for sure.

[Dismas]

I'd say it wasn't meant to be and yeah, I feel you, the relationshiop between you and that person can never be the same after that.
I hope that you and your family are good and healthy now, noone had any severe complications or something

Moose -- That is very confusing.  Let me just say something, I don't think she GAVE you and your Family Covid, you said it wasn't on purpose, and there is a divide with Covid, people care about it and others don't,  But Moose you said some important things, you came back from vacation you started to speak with her again, but ghosted her, and then you say that she was a cool chick.

Moose are you sure you don't still like her and value her as a friend at least.  I hope I'm not out of line, but I want the best you!  it sounded like you sabotaged the relationship with a pretty cool chick, based on catching Covid which she did not give on purpose.  You should not have been upset Moose, that's not fair to her and to you Moose.  No relationship is easy, they all take work and communication.  I can honestly say that out of all the women I know, not many fall into that pretty cool chick category.  I haven't met too many that I could say are pretty cool. 

Moose from what you wrote, you didn't treat her fairly, and that's fine if you want her out of your life.  But man, I would go get her, and hang with her, if she's cool, she's cool, and that's a woman to be with. Try it and work on it.  Would you rather go through life, knowing you had a cool chick and let her go, like you would or would not regret ghosting and leaving her.  What do you have to lose?  If there are relationship things going on with you, you can either work on them or not, OP stated that too, you have to want to change and get better at what it is that's going on.  Sounds like a cool chick to try it with.

Moose - I will always have your back!  And I have done things and let some very good ones go.  I had no interest after this divorce of mine started.  But I bumped into a pretty cool chick (and I remember you called her a cool chick when you referenced her) and this cool chick became my best friend, and more, now she's a royal pain in the ass don't get me wrong, but she's still a cool chick and I can be me and she's sticking by me.

OP made reference to helping people, and me and my lady can be complete opposite in things, but I help her and she helps me, tremendously, we are helping each other, each step of the way,..... and its one day at a time.

I don't like being alone, like in life, there's nothing wrong either way, but there's a huge comfort in her, I'm glad she's here.  She loves me for who I am......and she SEs the shit out of everything!

Only here saying these things to help, it just caught my attention what you said.  And whatever makes you Happy is cool by me. 

G

---

Seems a stupidity, but im struggling so much with my gf, she lives on another city ( 150 km away from mine ), and every night she goes partying, the Next morning she tells me she has been talking/dancing and getting invited to drink by other dudes, and i feel someday she wont tell me that because she would have done more that that with those dudes. I know i have to trust her, but, when you have came from 2 relationships in which i found she was with other dudes... Its very difficult ( we are making 2 years of relationship on Sunday ).

Sorry if this seems like a teenager problem, It really Matters for me, keeps me awake every night she goes partying, i barely sleep 2 hours those days, and the normal days barely 4, and im 20... So imagine how i feel phisically and mentally every day

Kaz - this isn't stupid or a teen problem.  You even said it matters to you, so it matters to us.  This is a little tough, and it sounds like you really like her and she's into you also.  Guys are always going to hit on women, do you trust her?  Sounds like you do, and if you want to continue with this relationship, you have to trust her, but she and you will make mistakes, but you can't dwell on things that will probably never happen, what good does that do you, its wasting your thoughts and time, trashing your sleep and it may all be for nothing.  How about you turn that worry into hope, hope on positive things.

Out of all the guys in the world, who does she come to, YOU!  And if it feels right to you, then you have to try.  Better to try than not, relationships aren't easy to line up.  Don't compare the past to this one, its unique.  Some worry is ok and normal, but it can't consume you and the relationship, worry because you care about her, and that's what being in a relationship is about.  There are some people who are in a relationship and don't give a shit.  Shes coming home to you Bro!  Thats an awesome feeling, so enjoy the good with her.

We are here for you Bro - G

Hey Law. Thank you for the post. It's always refreshing seeing your posts. It's been quite some time since I spoke to her. I've sent her a message and will see if she responds. At the very least she'd be a decent friend to have. And I agree, not many cool chicks out there that's for sure.

COVID's definitely done a great job of keeping people apart. Don't let it ruin your relationship too.

[mothered]

How many hours do you sleep?

I only get around 4 hours - my mind Is always active.


This right here^^^^ Is a world a lot of overactive minds, you can call it ADHD, OCD or what not, and if I remember Mothered, you were like me and things like High School, just got in our way, almost too boring, and I had to get out and do, do, do!  My mind goes like crazy, and I can vouch for Mothered on the 4 hours of sleep every day, because he is always here and on top of his game!  I get 4 -5 hours, my bad thing is routine, and that is key, same time and same amount.  Unfortunately, my career forced me to rotate and then extend those hours into days, and then back.  When I self-correct, that is the first thing I do, sleep routine.  Eating healthy and hydration, exercise, and some me time.  I'm hoping to start another self-correct soon.

Can you tell I have been up for 24 + I can shut up.  I'm going to jump off here and grab some sleep, I think.  I will post a bio of myself for the OP and let's get me dialed in on life.

This is an awesome thread, I can't see how it shouldn't always be around, it's so vital.

And to OP Jidxja, I owe my life to Sinisterly, Mothered, Oni, Moose, others.... I didn't come here a few years back in a good place, and as they have heard me say it, and I will continue to, I was helped here in life and living again, and I became a better man than I ever thought possible.  They had their A game on, and never let me fall.  I'm so honored.

Much Love - G

would like to see your story, how are you going to self-correct?

Part of my story is on here, I believe you can see my threads in my profile and click on them, but this is a nightmare that won't end, I wish this on no one, but for me it feels like a bomb went off and I'm starting a second life, literally like I have almost nothing and certainly not where I want to be or where I thought and planned to be.

So with some awesome help from here, and I have kids, I had to reset my goals and priorities, only I can make myself happy, it feels like I'm seriously starting out again, and that I have enough to get by, but I was well ahead of the game before.  Getting more focused on me took the anger away, and I realized I'm still a role model and my kids need me to be responsible, I need me to be responsible, and there's things I can do to help the situation and I'm doing them slowly.  I had to set new goals, like way new goals.  And it may sound selfish, but i take care of me first a lot.

You know that song "One" by Metallica , that was me, it wasn't a good thing or place, it is actually haunting a bit.  It's definitely not me.  I laid out a bit of it here and thank goodness I did.  It showed me and taught me that I have to align myself with good people, the right ones, and tomorrow matters.  I can't change the past and I don't control what others do or say, I react to it and if its negative, try to eliminate that out of my life.  It's hard when that negative comes from family and things you love.  I have to try, and keep trying, because the only time we fail, is when we quit.  And if I can carry on, why wouldn't I try? When I did things began to line up better, and positives came, and next thing I know is I'm in a place better than before and it's just going to get better, because new goals, and I set fun ones, and I can be who I want to be now, and a lot of it is on my time.

There are still some major things in the way, but I chip at them.

And honestly there's some bad days, not many, but I feel swept over like I want to do absolutely nothing and there's a feeling of dread.  It goes away, but I have to work on those things.  The past is like this, you burry the don't problems, negatives, they are still there, but you don't dwell on them, and if you really need them, you go dig them up, by the time you are done digging, you don't need them anymore, and you find out that this things may have shaped you, but they dont have to define you, YOU define you, YOU make yourself happy.  Storms pass and the sun will shine again. Live life on your terms @mothered

- You have to be able to take care of yourself, one very important thing is, you have to be able to step out of the box and look in and self-evaluate, imagine what you would tell your brother or best friend if they were going through the same thing, what advice or what would you want from them or expect them to do?  If you do that you hit a major milestone that is so easy to get and we control, it.  You self-evaluate like that, you know you are getting the most honest opinion because its you, you are acknowledging there is something going on and you are fixing it at the same time, it helps put positive thoughts inside your mind and thats an awesome seed to plant because that positive will grow and grow and eventually eliminate those negatives.

And seeing a therapist or counselor, dr, etc. is not ever a bad thing, I haven't met one person who could not benefit from getting some help.  The key to that is finding the right one and getting that comfort.

Keep asking, I will tackle as much as I can.  I can already see that you are going to get some of the best advice and wisdom.

G

---

@"Jidxja"  Awesome stuff bro, absolutely great stuff, I have been answering some and reading more, I have some catching up to do, and I'll get to your responses in a bit, very well put thoughts and wisdom.  I'm honored

@mothered    I quoted you in a few responses, wanted to give you props!

Ill get back on in a bit - I don't know what I did but it looks like some replies are connected! (im a goof)

G

You've been through some very tough times, of which many people would not come out of It the way you did.

Life will Inevitably continue to be challenging, hence every obstacle must be tackled accordingly there and then. Speaking for everyone, don't let things build up - that's when you lose control and head In a negative direction. All In all, you should be extremely proud of what you've achieved.

[Defeat]

Moose -- That is very confusing.  Let me just say something, I don't think she GAVE you and your Family Covid, you said it wasn't on purpose, and there is a divide with Covid, people care about it and others don't,  But Moose you said some important things, you came back from vacation you started to speak with her again, but ghosted her, and then you say that she was a cool chick.

Moose are you sure you don't still like her and value her as a friend at least.  I hope I'm not out of line, but I want the best you!  it sounded like you sabotaged the relationship with a pretty cool chick, based on catching Covid which she did not give on purpose.  You should not have been upset Moose, that's not fair to her and to you Moose.  No relationship is easy, they all take work and communication.  I can honestly say that out of all the women I know, not many fall into that pretty cool chick category.  I haven't met too many that I could say are pretty cool. 

Moose from what you wrote, you didn't treat her fairly, and that's fine if you want her out of your life.  But man, I would go get her, and hang with her, if she's cool, she's cool, and that's a woman to be with. Try it and work on it.  Would you rather go through life, knowing you had a cool chick and let her go, like you would or would not regret ghosting and leaving her.  What do you have to lose?  If there are relationship things going on with you, you can either work on them or not, OP stated that too, you have to want to change and get better at what it is that's going on.  Sounds like a cool chick to try it with.

Moose - I will always have your back!  And I have done things and let some very good ones go.  I had no interest after this divorce of mine started.  But I bumped into a pretty cool chick (and I remember you called her a cool chick when you referenced her) and this cool chick became my best friend, and more, now she's a royal pain in the ass don't get me wrong, but she's still a cool chick and I can be me and she's sticking by me.

OP made reference to helping people, and me and my lady can be complete opposite in things, but I help her and she helps me, tremendously, we are helping each other, each step of the way,..... and its one day at a time.

I don't like being alone, like in life, there's nothing wrong either way, but there's a huge comfort in her, I'm glad she's here.  She loves me for who I am......and she SEs the shit out of everything!

Only here saying these things to help, it just caught my attention what you said.  And whatever makes you Happy is cool by me. 

G

---

Kaz - this isn't stupid or a teen problem.  You even said it matters to you, so it matters to us.  This is a little tough, and it sounds like you really like her and she's into you also.  Guys are always going to hit on women, do you trust her?  Sounds like you do, and if you want to continue with this relationship, you have to trust her, but she and you will make mistakes, but you can't dwell on things that will probably never happen, what good does that do you, its wasting your thoughts and time, trashing your sleep and it may all be for nothing.  How about you turn that worry into hope, hope on positive things.

Out of all the guys in the world, who does she come to, YOU!  And if it feels right to you, then you have to try.  Better to try than not, relationships aren't easy to line up.  Don't compare the past to this one, its unique.  Some worry is ok and normal, but it can't consume you and the relationship, worry because you care about her, and that's what being in a relationship is about.  There are some people who are in a relationship and don't give a shit.  Shes coming home to you Bro!  Thats an awesome feeling, so enjoy the good with her.

We are here for you Bro - G

Hey Law. Thank you for the post. It's always refreshing seeing your posts. It's been quite some time since I spoke to her. I've sent her a message and will see if she responds. At the very least she'd be a decent friend to have. And I agree, not many cool chicks out there that's for sure.

COVID's definitely done a great job of keeping people apart. Don't let it ruin your relationship too.

Looks like it's too late.
@lawdogusa I reached out, she did not respond but looked at my IG story. All good, onto the next.
Ps. @mothered can you move this to serious discussions?

[Jidxja]

Hey Law. Thank you for the post. It's always refreshing seeing your posts. It's been quite some time since I spoke to her. I've sent her a message and will see if she responds. At the very least she'd be a decent friend to have. And I agree, not many cool chicks out there that's for sure.

COVID's definitely done a great job of keeping people apart. Don't let it ruin your relationship too.

Looks like it's too late.
@lawdogusa I reached out, she did not respond but looked at my IG story. All good, onto the next.
Ps. @mothered can you move this to serious discussions?

damn, I posted this 1st in serious discussions and told mothered to switch it to lounge because i thought the reach would have been better, but yeah, I agree, this belongs in serious discussion

[Dismas]

Moved to Serious Discussion.

[mothered]

@mothered can you move this to serious discussions?

It's been moved by Oni.

[vektyna]

I've been dealing with porn addiction been masturbating daily for the past few months really want to give it up

[Jidxja]

I've been dealing with porn addiction been masturbating daily for the past few months really want to give it up

give it up then, go be more physically active, go to the gym, do a sport maybe? And whenever you feel like masturbating go do pushups, it really helps.