[Equinox]

My apartments left a note on the door, this is exactly what it says, typos and all with the exception of a phone number.

TIMBERLODGE
APARTMENTS

AUDIT Monday/Tuesday
02/17//2014- 02/18/2014
Dear Residents (s),
Please be advised that management will be performing an audit on all apartment homes at Timberlodge Apts. This audit will begin at 9am on both Monday and Tuesday February 17th and 18th.

We will be looking for several things so we will need access to ever room in the home. We will be observing things such as upgrades and the condition of each home.

Make sure all alarms, pets, and keyless deadbolts are accommodated so forced entry isn't needed.

We thank you in advance for your cooperation, If you have any questions please contact *** ***-****.

Sincerely, Management.

Breaking down the bullshit:

Make sure all alarms, pets, and keyless deadbolts are accommodated so forced entry isn't needed.

They will break down your door and pet cages just to get into your apartments. Let me say one thing, if they touch my gecko, Marty, this little guy, , I will sue them.

Next, this.

We thank you in advance for your cooperation, If you have any questions please contact *** ***-****.

This just pissed me off so bad after them threatening me that they think I will so happily contact them.

That's as far as I will go because even though I can say so much more, it's not worth my time.

Comments below, if you have any.

[Customer]

I don't blame you.

If they touched a little angel like that, I'd shit in every toilet and not flush until they left so it would smell so bad.

Or like, hide stinky stuff in hidden places so they will have a hard time.

10/10.

[Satan]

I'd make sure its actually from your Apt complex.

[Equinox]

I'd make sure its actually from your Apt complex.

It is, we checked.

[Satan]

It is, we checked.

Good. Sounded a lot like a phony attempt to steal.