[Tree]

So I've recently been interested in writing a short story or just create some literature. This is my first little writing project I finished about 10 minutes ago and I want to hear your opinion on it. It's basically a little story about delirium, feedback is needed.

Spoiler:

Everything is all in the green and I think I’m ready to down those pretty pink pills. My phone and keys are locked in a box behind all the clothes in the basement and I have a gallon of water next to me so I won’t have to worry about dry mouth. After pouring myself a tall, icy glass of strawberry milk I felt all 14 pills swim down my throat. After about a half an hour I go outside to smoke a cigarette; people say that smoking takes a bit of the bad vibes out of the come up, whatever that is. Holding the lighter up to the stick of death, I flick my bic lighter and inhale. What? Why aren’t I getting any smoke? Inspecting the situation closely I realise that the end that you’re supposed to burn is in my mouth and the filter is on fire. Well, I guess I’m going to have to buy myself a new lighter. Walking out to the yard I swat at all the spiders on my lawn, they really are troublesome sometimes. After I was done getting rid of the horrid arachnids I decided it was time for my afternoon beer. Walking down my hallway I noticed these little black spots, almost like ants shifting around my walls. God damn kids, I told them not to draw on the walls. They had better have been using the washable Crayola. As I walked in my room there was a black leprechaun lazing on my bed, asleep. To avoid waking him up I lightly tapped him in the shoulder before I swiftly impaling his skull with a large kitchen knife. Wow, all the blood is gone, looks like I won’t have to clean up my mess. While starting downstairs to look for a beer in the fridge I realise that my grandfather lock door is unlocked so I start over to it. Staring at the clock I don’t see any numbers, only Henry Mildred and Scott lay out a time of 13:04. Looks like Mildred is a little tired, she’s already sleeping down at 6. Carrying her to my bed proved to be profusely difficult because of her weight. Man, this girl is really heavy, and the leprechauns keep trying to nibble on my toes. When I finally got to my room an unsettling surprise waited for me in the mirror, it looks like all of my toes were bit off.

Why did you do this?

Huh?

You know what I’m talking about you fucking bastard.

No, I don’t. Please, I’m being as honest as I ever could, don’t get rid of me.

I’m not going to get rid of you, I’m going to gut, rape your shell and keep it.

After the conversation I had with the man with the top hat, Mildred fell onto the carpet and exploded into thousands of ants with wings. The wings were so shiny, almost like oblong diamonds. When they realised I was watching all of them disappeared into their blue spheres. Everything was twinkling after the ants went away. Everything I took interest in started to twinkle with white sparks.

The static Static was everywhere I look, calling out my name. Why won’t it go away? Static was in every room, every thought, every single damn way I look the static is overtaking my vision. Scratching out my skin it starts to fade, before I knew it ripples of flesh and blood were in front of me. It’s all still here, the static won’t completely fade Screaming in agonising pain I rip my arteries out and feed them to the bottle floating in front of me. Now I can sleep in peace, the static won’t be able to get me when my vessel is gone.

[Drown]

For your first time it's great.
You have some Grammar errors, also you may want to add some very smart words.
Lets say instead of "shocking" replace it with "fascinating" You get the point.
You should exaggerate things a little bit too. Keeps the story interesting.

[Tree]

For your first time it's great.
You have some Grammar errors, also you may want to add some very smart words.
Lets say instead of "shocking" replace it with "fascinating" You get the point.
You should exaggerate things a little bit too. Keeps the story interesting.

Yeah I typed it all up without really proofreading much, now that I'm re-reading it I do notice some grammar issues. I'm probably going to fix them up sometime tomorrow afternoon because I'm going to be going to bed soon.

[Wonders]

That was very nice, good work!

I use to do a lot of writing but I haven't for ages really.