[Nailo]

Found this article hope u guys enjoy it as much as i did



Have you ever found yourself surrounded by too many friends and loving family members? Have you ever wished you could just make them all go away? Sure, we all have. Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick and easy way to make this happen… until now! Presenting the complete guide on how to be a complete and total asshole.

Be an asshole, just like these people.
Step I: Knowing Everything

One of the most important parts of being an obnoxious prick is knowing everything, or at least thinking you do. Even if some people you don’t know are discussing something you’ve never heard of, it’s important to jump right into their conversation and try to make them look like they don’t know what their talking about. Let’s take a look at the incorrect and correct ways that one should handle a situation in which strangers are discussing a topic you are ignorant of.

Incorrect:
*Sit in silence, perhaps smile at the group*

Correct:
“If I could just interrupt you there? Great. I think that the current situation regarding the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty is moot, and therefore, we should not give tax cuts to the wealthy.”

*Smile knowingly*

As you can see, just sitting back and watching others isn’t going to get you anywhere. You’ve got to get in there, and mix it up conversationally speaking. If you don’t know what their talking about, fake it. After all, who are they to call you on it?
Step II: Using Words That You Don’t Know

This is an often overlooked step, but one that must be mastered before one can ever truly be an asshole. You must develop the ability to hear a word one time, and instantly absorb it into your vocabulary. You must then make use of your newly learned word at the nearest opportunity, despite the fact that you don’t know what it means. The sooner you get into the habit of doing this, the sooner you’ll be insulting people with the names of small countries in Eastern Europe.
Step III: Looking Down on People

In order to be a real dick, you have to have an air of superiority that would rival that of a god. Self-confidence is fine for people who want to half-ass it, but you are going to have to go full out. You can’t just think you’re better than everything else, you’ve got to know it, and make sure everyone else does too. If someone is bragging about their golf score, or how great their kids are, just give them a look of utter disdain and say something to the effect of “Well, I suppose that would be good enough for some people…”, then trail off like you’re censoring yourself.

It is vital to never let anyone else have a moment of pride while in your presence. Any amount of glory another might happen to experience will subtract from the amount that you yourself should be getting. This is, of course, unacceptable.
Step IV: Your Possessions

What you own is what defines you as a person, not your actions or your character. Therefore it is very important to own only the best things. A Mercedes is fine, a Bentley is better. Simply owning great things isn’t going to make you a complete asshole, you’ve got to get out there and tell people about all your great possession. Ad nauseam. If someone has something that’s similar to what you have, but not as nice or expensive, make sure you let him know. Making other people feel bad about their lives is what is going send you to the top of the asshole game.


Original article can be found here http://www.delsquacho.com/blog/2004/03/1...l-asshole/ all credits to the owner of the site